goddess23 Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 o wow. please just say anything you can. okay some of you may be familiar with my situation. first bf, 9 month relationshp amazing, it ended because he was "confused"....time went by 6 months later we revealed that we still like eachother. we didnt want to get so serious again so we decided to take it slow go with the flow. next day he told me he loved me but i responded with an "are you sure?? lol" and that was that. anyways its been hot and cold. well monday we had this intense amazing day together and i told him i loved him (i think it was a mistake). then tuesday wed, thurs, fri passed and i could just feel that drift. so i started asking him a few quesitons like "are there certain days that you're more attracted to me?" n hes like i dunno. and im like cmon how can you not know??! im like think today vs. monday. n hes like i dunno. so im like k do you like me n hes like i guess!! at that moment i was thinking omggg. so im like what do you mean you guess and hes like i dunoo im tired right now (it was really late and he usually sleeps early lol) but i was justl ike well how could you not like me. well i was explaning to him how i felt and he started jumping to conclulsions n hes like "you want me to say i love you when i dont??!" and im like omgg when did i say that! anways in the end im like ok are you happy with the way its going? (because honestly i am) and hes like yes and hes like are you happy with it and im like yes so we're like fine no need to argue we just keep going with the flow. the thing is it really hurts that his feelings change day by day!! he even said i dont know why this happens but it does. and it makes me feel realllly hurt. i just need some advice or anything!! Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 I'm guessing the relationships boring?? Even if you are like "Well how could I be boring him?!". Something is and you need to get down to it, either that or he's cheating . Link to comment
goddess23 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Share Posted May 9, 2005 lol you know my story very well metallic. hes not cheating. this is not some girls denial im sure. the thing is it definitely isnt boring....and our time apart keeps it interesting. hes VERYYY INTO IT, veryyyy sweet, veryyy in love at times. hes usually more lala land then me. but his feelings yo yo more then a yo yo!! and im just not sure if i should end it or just go with it. reason im going iwth it: hes the only guy im even slightly attracted to. lets just say if me and him ended i wouldnt even kiss another guy until a new chapter in my life begins meaning completion of high school which is still awhile. basically we both are hanging on because we do like eachother and both of us only like eachother if you get what i mean. like ive only liked one other guy, hes only liked one other girl. we dont crush too easily. so its like im the only girl he would even CONSIDER and hes the only guy i wud CONSIDER. and i dont want to go through the BOREDOM I WENT THRU with our breakup. but am i hurting myself too much? do the costs outweigh the benefits?? Link to comment
Helpme86 Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Its best some times not to push a subject if a person does not want to talk about it. It could lead to more hurt feelings in the end. Give it a day then ask again, tell him you are being serious. So do you still love him? Link to comment
QTpie87 Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 People with really bad depression change their minds like that, Maybe he has depression or is manicdepressant? All I know is that when I start to do that it means my depression is getting really bad. good luck. Qtpie87 Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Maybe he doesn't like the fact that he's 2 years younger than you goddess and he feels like he isn't good enough for you. So that could be depressing him. Kind of like what QTpie said, about how depressed people are like that. Link to comment
greenie35 Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Its best some times not to push a subject if a person does not want to talk about it. It could lead to more hurt feelings in the end. Give it a day then ask again, tell him you are being serious. So do you still love him? How true...especially with guys. Guys only like to talk about their feelings when they want to talk about their feelings. When pressured by women...it can get ugly and sometimes the answers you get aren't how they really feel...guys generally need a lot more time adn space to sort out what their thinking. Link to comment
Mun Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Hi there, I'm just wondering why .. oh why ? if he is so sweet and so very into you ( I believe you on this) would you hound him with questions about his feelings for you??? If he is with you it must be because he likes you, enjoys your company.. and girl, he has told you he loves you in the past.. come on... there is no need to be so insecure... Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he started asking you if you loved him, and kept asking even after you told him you were not in the mood to discuss it now. At some point you would probably say you didn't know anymore.. and if he kept hounding at you you'd get tired enough of it that you would start to wonder Why ( or if ) you love this person Sure you might not see him for a few days.. hey he has a life too. You say he misses you when he hasn't been with you in awhile... so hey YOU DO MATTER. I think you should chill a bit because if you keep going on like this you may just drive him away. I don't think very many men are attracted to insecure, needy women.. You don't want to be like that Believe in yourself. Link to comment
goddess23 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 hey eveyrone thanx for your replies. first of all i do think i love him...but sometimes i think my mind changes constantly. hmm....depression....well...im not sure....i mean i dont think he has anything in his life to cause depression. ok, muneca, i know you have good advice so im going to clear up a few things for some further input. see the thing is hes so sweet and so very into me AT TIMES, and honestly i have not asked him a single quesiton in 2 months, the reason i started getting on his back about it that night was because after a lot of passion when ia sked him if he LIKED ME he said "i guess so". now thats not the answer you need to hear from a guy you're getting pretty serious with. i agree the moment was not right and i realize some of thet hings he said could have been from plain fustration. but yeah i told him i love the fact taht we have our own separate lives and once to twice a week is great for me. its just i can feel when that distance becomes more than just our own time ya know? so when i asked him if he liked me and he said i guess i freaked. the thing is his feelings literally chagne day by day for no apparent reason he even said it himself. the thing is, do i just go along with his yo yo feelings because of the fact that i realllly do like him and care about him or is this just hurting me in the long run. Link to comment
shorty20 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 well highschool is a very confusing time for almost everyone. Relationships can get so confusing, and the drama is nonstop. With this guy, it sounds like he maybe just gets a little confused at times. If you really like him, and want to be with him, don't get on his back when he withdrawls and acts a little different. Some guys not only want to be intimate and intense with their girlfriends but also friends. I would suggest that when he acts a little different, maybe just lay back and hang out. Don't put pressure on him, but just be a buddy when he needs one, ya know? Sometimes guys just don't feel like being all mushy and romantic, and that is just the guy mentality. On the other hand, it kind of sounds like you guys are staying in the relationship out of convenience. When you said that you wouldn't date anyone else until the next chapter of your life and all that stuff, it sounded like you guys stay together for lack of other options. I'm not saying that is the case, but if it is, sometimes it is good to be alone. Go out and have fun with your friends! Graduation is a great time, and going to parties and being with friends is a huge part of the highschool experience. I guess you just have to decide on your own whether you really like this guy and want to be with him, or if you just don't want to let go of something that used to be there. Good luck! Link to comment
goddess23 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 hey thanks for the reply...well...honeslty im not sure. i do know that i REALLY LIKE THIS GUY NO DOUBT but i also know that part of the reason that i am with this guy is out of convenience. its true, this is exactly what it is, and i did the alone thing. i mean honestly this is the only guy ive ever been with and its not that it totally sucks, its just hes the only guy i EVEN LIKE and i dont mind being single but i need someone to at least drool over lol. i know i sounds really stupid right now but i do know that im trying to hold on to the past and the present. i do like this guy and i would love to be with him again seriously later on. but right now im happy with the wya it is it just hurts so bad that hes THIS CONFUSED. but im going to just give him the benefit of the doubt for now and let it flow. if anyone has nething to add plzz do thanxx alll Link to comment
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