Boyfriend acting disrespectful when drunk

[catfeeder]

Aside from the bigger issue of not being willing to settle for a sloppy drunk as a BF, which will never get better, only worse, this little charmer...

(like telling me to shut the f up)

...would have me shutting the f up permanently and walking away to go change my locks.

 

None of this is how anyone worth keeping behaves. Tolerating it won't improve it. Telling the guy that you don't want to hear from him until he's completed rehab and has at least 30 days of sobriety under his belt would be merely to check in. Most sobriety programs advise their clients that they aren't even relationship material for at least a year after sobriety...so why are you wasting your time on this guy?

[smackie9]

I've been in an abusive relationship...this is how it works....they start out all sweet and amazing to hook you. Then the abuse part starts...it's about controlling you. They build you up, and then start to pound your self esteem down making you too weak to leave. He belittles you because he gets off on it. It makes him feel superior. The cycle is him being all sweet, drinking and beats you down. This will not stop. I get it, like I was, you think he loves you.....this is so far from the truth. I don't know how I did it, but I just had enough because I was finally tired of his BS...and I kicked him to the curb. I never took him back after that. It was a learned experience, but I am still mad at myself for not getting rid of him sooner.