I finally got out...

[temperamental_taurus]

It's been a little while since I've posted on here because he tracked everything I did online and it only caused more arguing. But to recap, he was an alcoholic and I was trapped in a lease with him.

 

Well, I finally moved out on Saturday. I feel a huge weight lifted off myself knowing I don't have to come home to a nightmare everyday. We decided try to remain together but live apart for awhile - I figured what the heck... I'd tried everything else, right? And the pleasantries of that lasted a whole 5 days? To make a long story short, the little games began... (making me contact him first, postponing plans to see each other, acting like it's no big deal) and tonight I pretty much told him to kiss off. I am no longer going to allow him to frustrate me. I'm deciding to completely end this entire waste of my time.

 

My new apartment is wonderful, the sun shines in every morning and lights up the place - it makes me happy, for once - in a melancholy kind of way. It's peaceful here, I'm just learning to re-adjust to being by myself.

 

He's been IM'ing me tonight, drunk, I'm sure - saying all kinds of nasty things... that he's moving in with some chik named "Heather" and calling me names... funny how I can move out and have him still hurt me. I don't understand any of it, and I never will, I'm sure. Sigh, when does it end... will I ever be happy? Why is the one thing I want so unobtainable for me???

[kungfumaster]

Hey temperamental,

 

You've done good for yourself - I know you can't see it now, but its for the best. It will take sometime for you to heal from the death of your relationship - that's okay. You will heal. Take your time - but you have taken the first steps, and you are on your way. You were brave enough to leave - good for you.

 

Like the sun that shines through your window every morning, so shall the realization of a better life that will come from this after you have taken some time to grieve, be angry, be sad,... everything, basically, to heal. Good luck on your healing journey.

 

Take care.

Kung fu

[butterflycloud]

congratulations on getting out!!!! I know it takes tremendous courage.

 

You do deserve happiness, but you have obviously been looking for it in the wrong places!!I think that you need to be on your own for a while, I know that you may be lonely now but that 'aloneness' creates such deep sould healing because you get a chance to be who you really are without anyone putting you down. You have obviously been supressed by a very abusive person so take the time to become you again.

 

Of course he is going to try and hurt you know with his mean words. His ego is hurt that you left so in turn he is going to try to hurt you back. Tell yourself these words everyday- "I refuse to eat emotional poison". If he sends you messages the erase them before reading them and if he calls and starts to be abusive then tell him that you are no longer his trash can that he can dump all his negative thoughs into!!

 

Ask the angels to hold you hand through all of this- they will- they are there, ask them to be with you everyday!

 

Keep posting- we will help you get through this!!

 

Love and light

Butterflycloud

[arwen]

Hey there taurus!

 

Congrats on moving out girl. I know it can be a bit of an anticlimax, when you finally have your own place... the reason you feel this way is probably because you are still processing all that has happened the last months. It's not nothing, you've been through hell and back with that man, and now you are starting over on your own.

 

I am happy to hear you found yourself a good place to live. I am sure you will gradually start to feel more and more happy about this. Can you manage the finances? I hope you didn't have to take an extra job and have some time for yourself.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse