NC will drive you nuts

[SeaBisquit]

finally after two weeks of NC my ex finally called me. I think about him all the time and the NC was driving me nuts. He finally called me today and we made plans to spend some time together this weekend. I miss him so much and their are so many things I want to tell him that I have kept hidden from him for a long time. My question is do I come clean and tell him what I have been hiding from him or should I wait and tell him a little later? this is partly the reason that we broke up in the first place.

[chai714]

What are you hiding?

[SeaBisquit]

hello chai714, i knew someone would ask this question.

I got into some trouble a few years ago, i ended up in jail, my ex bonded me out of jail. after i got out of jail, i promised him that i will take care of the mess that i have gotten myself into. i didn't exactly follow through and take care of things like i was supposed to. he found out about some of it but not all, that is why we broke up. but this has been eating me alive. I want to tell him the truth, but i'm scared and i don't like being dishonest because he is the one that helped me out of this mess to begin with.

[chai714]

If he helped you get out of this situation, I think he almost has the right-to-know. If you lied to him flat out, then he will feel disrespected when you tell him the truth. You could tell him that you did things that you regret, and that you'd like to make things better between you and him. I'm not sure if you need to go into details though.

 

Also, remember that honesty is at the base of every strong relationship. If you lose his trust, then it makes it that much harder to start a relationship wit him again.

[SeaBisquit]

yes chai, that is what i'm afraid of. i lost him once for not exactly being striaght with him. but, i didn't meant to hurt him, i love this guy, but it's just hard because i have never gotten into this kind of trouble before and i have alot of regrets and it's really hard for me to talk about. i'm surprised i even answered your question.

[DN]

Don't beat yourself up too much. People make mistakes.

 

I can't speak for your boyfriend but I know if I was in a similar position I would be more upset about being lied to than the fact you didn't clean up the mess. If you come clean now he may be able to get past the lie because you trust him enough to tell him.

[Iceman26]

Tell him the truth. What have you got to lose anyways, you guys are already broken up. Good luck.