Am I being paranoid?

[soveryconfused]

I've decided to break up with my bf of 5 months, just not sure how or when. The thing is, lately I've asked him to "give me time alone" (I know, that sounds awful) and he's been really good about it. He doesn't call, I usually do and if I don't, it's mainly because I have insomnia and by the time I get everything done after work, it's late, and I want to go to sleep. Last night around 10 just as I was falling asleep he called to "say goodnight" which he hasn't done since this whole "space" issue came up. He knew I was just about asleep, and knows how bad I have sleep issues.

Then he kept talking, about stupid things (how was your day, etc). I felt like he was checking up on me, maybe he's thinking I'm pulling away because there's someone else (there's not...at this point, I just don't want any relationship with anyone!). Am I reading too much into it? And should I ask him about it?

[kskm]

Yeah you are definitally giving this guy too hard of a time.

When someone has interest they think of the person a lot, and like you said he hasn't really called you, but give the boy a break. He wanted you to know he was thinking about you, and now you are mad because you feel like he's checking up on you? Come on now.

[soveryconfused]

I know, I'm being a jerk. Mostly out of guilt because I know I have to let him go.

[RayKay]

I think this is about more than a call - if someone loves you, they want to talk to you and find out how things are going in your life. What he did is what many girls WISH their boyfriends would do - show more interest. I mean 10 is not that late for most people, and if you have insomnia he might have figured you were still up! I doubt he can read your mind from a distance like that

 

I think this is about more than space, I think you are feeling trapped and just not that interested/into him....I think you should let him go find someone who is. It won't be easy, but be kind, and honest and set him free, and yourself - resentment is never a good thing for a relationship.

[soveryconfused]

I know, you're right. I've been thinking for days that I just need to let him go, I just don't know how. I mean, what's wrong with me? He's the nicest guy in the world, would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING for me, yet all the attention has just made me feel...smothered...to the point where I think I've lost feelings for him. I think back to other guys, and they were great (well, in the beginning) and I loved it, but this time....Maybe I thought I was ready to be in a relationship but am not. I don't know. I do know that I have to let him go, this is soooo not fair for him and he doesn't deserve this. It feels like he's up my butt all the time, and if he had his way, we'd spend every waking moment together. It sounds harsh, but having my butt kissed every second is getting on my nerves. But he means well, I know he does and I can't fault him for any of this. We're just not right for each other. I'm just torturing both of us and need to set him free. I just don't know how. I'm usually the one having my heart broken; I'm not used to being the "heartbreaker" but I guess in the long run, it's for the best. *sigh*