I need help in a bad way

[goodoleboy]

Well, here we go. I have been with my ex for over 4 years. We got married in July of 02. Then we ran into the problems last September. She tried real hard to make things right till Jan 04. Then she filled for divorce. She treated me real bad for about 6 weeks. I mean like dirt. Then I started working out hard at the gym. I got my career to take off. I started dating a cute lady that really helped me on my mental aspects. Then my ex chased me hard. We got back together but I made her finish the divorce at that time. She didnt want it at all. She put in 2 months of hard work. She really tried. I said things to hurt her. I guess I was still mad over her hurting me at the start of the divorce and being treated like dirt. Then she left. I got in the divorce our new home and vette and other trucks but she did get one of the farm trucks that she could afford to pay on. So she packed up all she could and left. Now she wont tell me where she is living or anything. Now I can call her since I let her keep a cell phone. But she treats me bad again. I know I deserve it. She has been real bad for 3 days. She wants me to leave her alone and give her time to think. She has told everone she loves me but she cant take it anymore. I booked a trip to cancun mexico to get remarried in July. It was a surprise. Well, I told her about that and she said as of now she would love to go. But no one knows what could happen in 2 months. But she is short and rude and doesnt want me calling her.

 

Now the kicker. the cute little lady I spoke of at the start. LOL I called her and started spending the nite over there. No one knows. Well, my ex thinks she does and asks me about it. She shows she is jealous.

 

My question is this. Everytime we split when I leave her alone for weeks with NC and she hears I am dating someone and my life is great she wants back with me. But this time she is like it is over for good other than the trip. Does NC really work that well.

 

If I call she blast feeds me. But she did this last time and wanted back. But I am confused and dont really know what to do. I need some help. But I do want her back and I have learned my lesson. Please help me out here.

[QTpie87]

I think if you really want her back that she needs to see you not dating anyone for a while and really acting like you want her and only her. spending the night at this other girls house isnt' really doing that. Girls are weird about things like that , trust me I'm one of them We can be the meanest people on earth sometimes, but usually that just means that we really want everything to just stop being so bad and be better and are protecting ourselves from getting hurt again and again. I would talk to her and tell her what you think, tell her you want to be with her still, but don't over bug her cause that will push her even further away.

good luck.

Qtpie87

[helpme145]

i think you gotta sit down with your ex and ask her what she is feeling. It might be hard to get that anwer out of a women but you just tell her that you don't want to be hurt again and that you don't want to be with someone who only wants to make sure you aren't happy.

 

On the other hand, she might be testing out your loyalty. You just have to sit down (or call) and talk to her and tell her how you feel. When she tells you what she wants, make the decision that you feel is best.

[DN]

You both need to stop playing push me - pull me.

 

and don't play with the affections of the other girl - not at all fair to her.

 

Ask your ex to sit down and decide with you what you both want. If it is the same thing decide how you can work together to achieve it - remarry or split. But do it like rational adults determined to reach an amicable solution.