...a two part question..

[fmfisdead]

Alright so here is the story. I met a girl by way of this band I'm in. Thing is the way I met her is through my lead singer, who had hung out with her prior and he was interested. After they hung out, she went back to school in kansas and they stopped talking. She came back to where I live to hang out with all of us again and it turned out that by this point the lead singer no longer had any interest in her. And I had honestly had interest in her the whole time, and the lead singer of the band was egging me on, he was like "go for it man!" And I'm like okay cool, so we had a one hour drive and it was just me and her in the car and I decided that this was a good time to get to know her (obviously).

 

So we talked a bunch but the conversation was a little rough going. She wasn't totally dead, she did add things and elaborate on stories, but it wasn't the conversation of a lifetime. A lot of times I wasn't sure if she really cared, so I was like alright, atleast I tried. Later I had found out she was really sick with strep throat and she also so happens to be a bit shy.

 

So now that is pretty much the background on the whole situation. About 2 months later I asked the lead singer for some contact information mainly her screen name just because I was interested in talking to her. I didn't really think it would amount to anything at all. Immediately he sort of got defensive and was asking, "why do you want it?" The lead singer is the kind of guy that goes through a lot of girls and then tosses them aside, so I wasn't sure why he was being this way, especially since he had a serious girlfriend at the time. I assured him that I wanted nothing more than to just chat with her and that she lives in kansas.

 

With that being said he gave me her screen name. We started talking more and more for about a week and I really started to get interested in her. She seemed a lot more talkative (as people seem to be online) and we seemed to have a lot in common. I'm starting to really have some feelings for her here. The awesome thing about her is, when we started talking online again she was asking me about some things I had told her when we talked in the car. Like I just told her some interesting stuff going on in my life and I was shocked to hear she actually WAS listening and she really did care, especially since she brought it up two months later and asked how I was. While talking we have developed a few inside jokes together and she tells me I'm "awesome," she really enjoys talking to me, and she wants to hang out when she moves back. To me this seems like shes interested, I mean call me crazy, but I never could understand girls anyways. She will be moving back in a few weeks and she makes reference to getting together most times we talk and she makes it a point to ask me questions to get to know me better. Thing is, shes atleast 2 years older than me. Shes 21 and I'm 19. I will be turning 20 this summer but I'm not sure how this will go.

 

So here are my questions (thank you for reading this far): Does it seem like she likes me so far and how can I tell if she does? I don't think she knows my exact age but I believe she knows I'm younger and do girls usually feel funny about that sort of thing? And lastly and importantly, I told my friend that nothing would go on, But I plan on telling him if something develops, am I wrong for this? Even though he hung out with her once and then tossed her aside. And how could I bring this up?

 

Anyways, wow, thanks for reading all of this if you even do.

[MetallicAguy]

Holy **** dude, she likes you yeah, you guessed right. The fact that she's 21 and your 19 is kind of rare, I've never seen a chick older than a dude go out. It's either same age or SHE is younger. And the fact that she remembers your conversation and everything in that car ride for an hour is awesome dude! And she brought it up a few months later, (dude, your definitely doing something right). Ok so now that you know she likes you and you have grown an attraction for her. To tell your friend, "Hey man, y'know that chick I asked the # for, well things between us have grown, and I like her a lot, so were getting pretty serious right about now, so I don't want this to be awkward for you dude." Yeah I sounded pretty Napoleon Dynamite in there: "so were getting pretty serious right about now".

 

 

***Oh yeah and she wants to hang out, SHE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE THEN ASK YOU OUT (if she isn't planning on making a further move while hanging out, I'm rooting for ya bro!) lol.

[greenie35]

My ex of 2.5 years is 2 years younger than me.

 

not too uncommon...but when your 18 and the chick is like 25...well that's a bit different...a lot of growing up goes on in those first few years into your twenties.

 

sometimes it's hard when a girl is 21 and a guy is under 21...especially if she's into partying and the bar scene and all, but if not then it's probably no big deal.

 

I wouldnt read too much into it just yet. Like you said people tend to be especially talkative online. Keep it cool and see what happens when you meet in person again. Personally I get along a lot better with dudes then chicks...always have. This has caused problems for me in the past, but I'm just not super gerlie....guess some guys dig that. I dunno...just keep it cool for now.

[MetallicAguy]

Well if your girlie, but are into something like punk, when the guys favorite music is punk, that's a turn on for the guy. Plus if you play guitar, and he plays guitar (or if he doesn't) that's a turn on too lol. But if your almost like a guy personality wise...that's gross. We like girls who are girlie but have an edge like they play guitar or something.

 

 

Well I guess, fmfisdead is turning 20 and she is 21, well....I guess it's not that big of a deal then.

[Turboz]

Well I wouldn't say she's definitely interested romantically but there is potential!

 

Just get to know her and see how things go. Don't become to pushy towards her (IE bed) but see how things go.

 

The fact that she remembers what you talked about in the car that day is positive!

 

Well trooper, good luck

 

-Turboz

[fmfisdead]

hey guys, thanks for the advice! She actually isn't one of those girly girls or into partying (in fact she doesn't do any drugs or drinking at all, a plus by me) so I think thats a plus for her wanting to party. Yeah, it seems like an interest MIGHT be there but who knows, all I can really do is just see how it goes. Do you guys think I should bring up my feelings before she comes or wait until she comes and hangs out? I kind of feel like I want to tell her soon cuz its really tempting for some reason. Any suggestions?

 

About my friend, my basic thought is eff him, he told me the first time to go for it! what an indian giver! He shouldn't be upset anyways, it was a girl he liked for a day and he now has a girlfriend. Anyways, thanks for the advice guys and I hope to hear back from you.

[cranberry]

hey fmfisdead,

 

Yes, it sounds like she is into you--she remembered your convo from 2months ago and she is looking forward to hanging out with you when she gets back in town.

I wouldn't tell her how you feel before she comes back (i.e., over the internet). Wait until you at least hang out one time. If you tell her beforehand it puts too much pressure on the situation (meeting again for the first time), do you know what I mean? And telling her in person is always so much better than online.

As for the lead singer in the band, why even tell him anything at all what is going on between you and this girl? It's not really any of his business. She is not even his ex-girlfriend...he ditched her after one time.