lone distance relationship....will it work?

[QTpie87]

ok I am in a long distance relationship and I don't really know if it's gonna work out cause I want him to be here and he wants me to be there and he says he can't move until he finishes college in 2 years. and I don't wanna and well basically can't leave for at least that long either. Has this ever worked out for anyone here. I really really care about him a lot but It almost seems like it is a waste of time. and that makes me sick to my stomach to even think like that.

IDK what to do.

[annie24]

Ok - just a question - is this the same guy that you've been chatting with over the internet that you've never actually met before?

 

Because if it is - forget about it.

 

I think you should go to the college that you want to go to, and stay in contact with him. Remember - you will meet SOOOOO many guys in college. Literally - THOUSANDS of men - everywhere!!! It's not a time where you should necessarily limit yourself to one person unless you're absolutely sure.

[QTpie87]

yeah it is the same guy. the thing is that no one here likes me. NO ONE. and he does. and he's really nice,and i like him too. I do worry about it though. maybe you're right. IDK. Im real confused.

[annie24]

Oh honey - don't settle just because he likes you. To be perfectly honest - two people can't really like each other, I feel, until they've actually met each other in person. Until then, what you really like is this image of them that you've set up in your head. The reality could be far from it.

 

In college, like I told you - THOUSANDS of men. You'll meet a lot of guys - in classes, in your dorm, in clubs you join. I bet some of those guys will meet you, and get to know who you are, and like the real-life you!

 

So, yeah, I definitely wouldn't make any major life choices around this man that you've never met.

[hurtwou]

Hunni, that is goona hurt you, but I have to tell you...

I dont care what anyone says long distant relationships dont work!

I actually just got out of one, and the guy I was with, I loved so much, and he broke up with me cuz we hardly ever saw eachother. Im still heartbroken, cuz I know if we lived close together we would still be 2gether.

[stronghotshot2005]

i dont know anything about your relationship, but in my opinion, long distance relationships are all about the maturity in each partner. if you BOTH can wait for each other to finish school or whatever needs to be done, then you're good to go.

[QTpie87]

well you have a good point. Im gonna try my hardest and be a little more mature about this whole thing, cause I really like him a lot, and he seems to like me. I just hope he really does and isn't confused. well yeah im gonna give it a little more time and just go with whatever happens, it would be dumb to break up cause he or I couldn't move right away.

thanks for all the help guys, you all gave me a lot to think about .

Qtpie87

[Zimetra]

hurtwou,

 

1)

I actually just got out of one, and the guy I was with, I loved so much, and he broke up with me cuz we hardly ever saw eachother.

 

2)

I dont care what anyone says long distant relationships dont work!

 

So, hurtwou, no 1) qualifies you to 2) ? Careful research, congratulations

 

 

I do share annie24's opinion on this particular case (totally unrealistic if you've never met in person), BUT IN GENERAL:

 

LDRs are very very difficult, but if 2 matching persons with the right attitude, lots of endurance and realism (and maturity) undertake this venture, it may work out. It DOES work out, and there are some positive examples making contributions to this forum.

 

Z.

[kimichuck]

if you are at times considering it already to be a waste of time, then are you truly commited?

To be honest its also unlikely that no one likes you where you are, have you really exhausted all ways of meeting people in your area?

[bothofus]

yeah,

annie mad a lot of sense i also agree with zimetra

 

LDR's DO WORK

That's crazy to say they don't. Of course sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.

 

You are so young though. Can't you meet someone through a really good internet dating thing. Then you could write to someone, eventually talk on the phone. Then meet. You could maybe ask a guy out once in a while.

[easyguy]

If you're both mature about it, then it can work.

[Rainy]

ldr require alot of work and communication, some work out and some dont but i dont think can totally say they all dont work, granted it is tougher,but if you both want it to work then it can

 

is there any chance of you being able to visit him for the weekend

[Helpme86]

You are so young though. Can't you meet someone through a really good internet dating thing. Then you could write to someone, eventually talk on the phone. Then meet. You could maybe ask a guy out once in a while.

Why would she do that if thats what she is already doing? Some people, not ALL(not to offend any one), are really desperate to get a date, so they try the internet dating sites. I think it would be more difficult to find some one and be able to "love" them when both people are looking for love. Love just kind of happens. You may end up as great friends, not as lovers. I don't know if what I said made much sense, but I think she should just stick with the guy who she is talking to now.

[bothofus]

Ok that makes sense.

I just hope that she gets a really good sense of this guy's intentions.

But, yeah, you're right.