How do you stop thinking about the Ex

[liasonred]

Hi,

 

Has anyone got any advice on how I can stop thinking about my Ex.

 

It's been a month now sice we split and I have reached a point where I am better off out of that relationship because of the person she was. I can see that and know I have to get on with my own life now but can not stop thinking about her and the thought of spending time with her.

 

We were together 6.5yrs, engaged and living together when she decided it wasn't right and that I am better than her and deserve more... blah blah blah... in other words she had found someone else.

 

How do you stop thinking about them all the time when you know they are not right for you?

[mdandrea]

I sort of have the same problem except I wasn't with her for six and a half years. Gosh that is a long time. I am really sad too. I waisted a friendship for only two weeks of trying to get together. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US.

[fantasia2004]

you just do if not , it never begins the healing.

[providentielle]

There's no magic cure or secret get over them strategy. All you can do is give it time. But use the time wisely, spend time with people who you admire and who value you, it will help you see that the relationship did not end because of the person you are, it will make you feel good about yourself again and time passes quicker when you are not sitting at home brooding. Start to be your own person again, remember who and what you were and things that were important to you that are still yours, even though so much else has changed. Do things you have always wanted to do, go plaes you have always wanted to go. I can't say if or when you wont think about her but it does get easier and you do start to realise that although it was so awful at first, the relationship made you who you are and it was so worthwhile, you will remember without hurting or feeling resentful and in time you will have another relationship that will work because of what this one taught you. Good luck and all the best.

[shes2smart]

Distraction is your friend.

 

Find something that you can get totally wrapped up in -- even if just for an hour.

 

After one break-up, I really got into Beverly Hills 90210. Every freakin' Wednesday night, I'd get so absorbed in that stupid show. But for that one hour a week, I wasn't thinking about the ex or fighting urges to call him.

 

Another thing I did was take horseback riding lessons & help out my friends at the race track. When you're dealing with 1000-1200 pound animals who have a mind of their own and can cause you some serious physical damage, you HAVE TO be fully present mentally so as not to get stepped on, kicked, thrown, bitten, run over, etc. Plus, being around horses just makes me feel good. So in that I had the combination of distraction PLUS an activity that I really enjoyed.

 

I also threw myself into sewing projects. If you're focused on creating something and you want it to turn out nice, you're gonna put your full attention on the task at hand, which means no time to ruminate over the ex.

 

Take a class, find a hobby -- something you can lose yourself in for a while.

 

If you can get your mind of the ex for an hour, you'll realize how much better you feel. If you can do it for an hour, you can do it for a few hours, then a day, then days at a time, until you realize you haven't thought about the ex in months.

 

Put yourself and your interests & hobbies first.

[SeaBisquit]

I think about my ex all the time, if consumes me everyday. i don't know how to stop thinking about him. Somedays are better than others, somedays i don't think about him to much. I try to do things to keep myself busy but then i find myself wishing he was with me to do all these things. I feel that life just isn't any fun without him being around.

[ravens_folly]

jees....

 

I wish I knew the answer.... I was only going out with my ex for 6 months... and I still think about him everyday....not as much as I used to... but I still do and its been a year and 2 months.

 

I feel better and can function and I am happy on my own most of the time and I don't think about him all the time.. just when I have some spare time to not think about much. Basically I think I just need to find someone else to do things with I guess.

 

Just find things to do I guess... and think about finding someone else is all I can offer you.

[chai714]

How do you stop thinking about them all the time when you know they are not right for you?

 

By letting time pass and changing up your lifestyle a bit. If you notice that you get into unhealthy patterns to where you sit there and think about her, then take action and switch up your patterns of behavior. Naturally, their long-term absense will cause you to think about them less and less, until one day you'll realize that you're over them. Getting over someone isn't a conscious process, but NOT getting over someone is, or can be. Just give it time, and eventually your thoughts of her will significantly decrease, until one day you won't even notice and will be over her.

[mdandrea]

This is the worst feeling though, I feel like I can't breathe, my shirt is too tight, like my neighborhood is a jail that I can only go so far in and that I don't have any control over anything in my life.