Will 'no contact' work twice?

[Kayla12]

I broke up with my ex 4 weeks ago, it was meant to be a so called 'break' we had a fight I walked away, he later text me saying he doesn't know it this could work, but he loved me. In the 'no contact' period he texted me after two weeks saying 'Hey', we talked for a bit, but the conversation I picked up was cold. Text became a little more frequent from him, including images of him asking me what I thought of his outfit. This really confused me... I then proceeded to ask him 'what page he was on', which I got a reply from him saying 'He now feels differently, and we should be friends'. Being upset I said I couldn't possible be your friend right now, but maybe someday. While he also wants to stay civil.

 

I have now deleted him on Facebook and wiped his number, but before saving it ofcourse. Will initiating 'no contact' work again? I need a little light on his whole situation. :(

[AlexIsok12]

The no contact rule only works if you follow the steps. "No contact means just that" No contact, I would have ignored his messages, and pictures, it sounds to me like he was just looking for someone to talk to, or get your attention, which powered his "Ego" after you responded.

The idea of the "No contact rule" is to allow the person to miss you, and realize what they're missing or "lost". I would break all contact for the month or so, and see where the goes, ignore him, go out enjoy your life, and just do you.

 

In the end, maybe you will realize you don't need him, maybe he will turn around and realize what he lost. You, obviously broke up for a reason?

[MissCanuck]

I have now deleted him on Facebook and wiped his number, but before saving it ofcourse. Will initiating 'no contact' work again? I need a little light on his whole situation.

 

Work in what sense? It's meant to help you let go and move on.

 

What was this final fight about, and how long were you together?

[figureitout23]

If you're using NC as a form of manipulation it doesn't sound like it will work. The reason I say that is because you seem to very much be at his mercy, he's holding the emotional cards and it sounds like you play the breakup card to get him in line. You've done it twice according to this post, lord knows how many times you've done it before. He's wise to your game now, removing any and all power it had.

 

Sorry.

 

Best to just let it go heal and work on yourself and your relationship skills. Relationship chicken never works.

[SGH]

There are so many professional trolls on the internet selling NC as a full-proof method for "making" your ex miss you. Your ex is either going to miss you or they won't, but even if they do, it doesn't mean they want to get back into a relationship with you. I would go as far as to say, too, that manipulative NC is especially useless because normal exes are going to respect your decision to not speak and abusive/crazy exes are going to reach out just to get an ego stoke before disappearing again.

 

The best chance you have at reinstating the relationship is to accept you're broken up and move on with your life. No amount of scheming or begging is going to make your ex change his mind. He may in time decide he made the wrong decision and reach out, but anything you do outside of moving on gracefully will only reduce the chances of that occurring. Plus, trying to bargain your way back into a relationship is demeaning and soul-destroying - quickest way to sail your way into a horrible depression.

 

Try to let go of the need to control the situation and focus solely on your healing. I promise it will get better with time.

[Kayla12]

Really complicated...We were together for a year, I’ve been suffering from depression and he’s recently dropped out of uni now unemployed... And I guess he just couldn’t be around ‘my negativity’. I suggested we take a break coz I know I was dragging him down, we met up after he talked me out of it. But my emotions were high when we met up and I started an argument... where I walked out and he suggested via text later he was also going to do the same

[Kayla12]

Work in what sense? It's meant to help you let go and move on.

 

What was this final fight about, and how long were you together?

 

Really complicated...We were together for a year, I’ve been suffering from depression and he’s recently dropped out of uni now unemployed... And I guess he just couldn’t be around ‘my negativity’. I suggested we take a break coz I know I was dragging him down, we met up after he talked me out of it. But my emotions were high when we met up and I started an argument... where I walked out and he suggested via text later he was also going to do the same

[figureitout23]

Really complicated...We were together for a year, I’ve been suffering from depression and he’s recently dropped out of uni now unemployed... And I guess he just couldn’t be around ‘my negativity’. I suggested we take a break coz I know I was dragging him down, we met up after he talked me out of it. But my emotions were high when we met up and I started an argument... where I walked out and he suggested via text later he was also going to do the same

 

Its not all that complicated, your relationship wasnt strong enough to survive the hardship of his employment status and your depression.

 

Please dont feel bad, quite often dating relationships cannot handle outside stressors being pilled on, which is why it is often advised a person waits until they unload all their baggage BEFORE they enter a relationship. Most dont listen to that advice though.

 

Heal. Work on your depression. Work on you. Let things go, I think the damage is done.

[Minikimini]

"No contact" works when you allow no contact whatsoever.

 

You're still accepting texts from him. That's called "contact".

 

Delete his number---having it will only make you want to call him when you're feeling weak.

[jenjohn88]

Sounds like you need to take some time to figure your life out. Starting fights because of emotions is proof that you shouldn't be in a relationship. Right now anyways. The fact that you guys broke up just because you are depressed doesnt seem like the relationship was that strong. You can just break up just because someone is having issues, that's not what love is about. Maybe you guys will feel lighter being apart. As far as no contact ''working'', what does that mean? Are you trying to use it to get him to run back or something?