Rejection blues

[Annia]

I come late to the "party" but just to say that I relate to you in this frustration.

 

Though I don't see casual sex as something bad and know about relationships that started that way or with sex on the first dates, my experience and watching other people's experiences tells me that it reduces the chances a bit. But it's not just about having a relationship out of it, it's about the fact that some of us despite telling ourselves we like it and want it, are not made for casual sex/sex on first dates. You need to be honest with yourself. Some people do it well and don't create attachments and expectations (I see this specially on men but I see it on some women too) but others like me, probably you and others who write here, have a tendency to create expectations and attachments when having sex with someone. And for those people it's better to wait until there's an emotional connection/heading towards a relationship to have sex with that person to avoid disappointments or expectations that are not in tune with what the other person is feeling or wants of us.

 

I used to think it was ok for me but I realised that it created attachments and expectations in me and so I decided to stop to protect myself.