Am I weird?

[eviljedi]

Hey, recently I've been feeling really down because I'm nearly 18 and I've never had a girlfriend, is that weird? All my friends have had at least one girlfriend and they say I should get one. I used to be really shy and I guess that's why I've not really met a lot of girls but over the past few years I've gained lots of confidence and I'm not afraid to talk to girls anymore.

I don't like going to clubs etc to meet girls. I just want to meet a girl somewhere else and get to know her; but all the girls I've met so far just want to be friends!

I'm going to university in a few months so I'm hoping to meet lots of new people there, but I often find it difficult to think of things to talk about with girls. With guys it's no problem, sports, computer games, music etc but I don't know much about what girls like.

 

If you guys have any advice I would really appreciate it

 

Thanks

eviljedi

[Helpme86]

Just talk to a girl as if you were talking to a guy. Whatever makes you start talking to a guy, should also help you strike it up with a girl.

[eviljedi]

Sometimes I feel like the girl will think I'm just trying to talk to her to get laid.

[SimoneTiger]

Well, what can you offer a girl? Are you smart? Are you funny? Are you good-looking, do you dress in a presentable manner? Can you afford to take her out? Are you popular among your friends? Do you drive a car?

 

A high-school girl wants to be able to impress their girlfriends with their boyfriend (well, who doesn't?), and she wants to be proud of him. If you meet all the above criteria, here should be no reason why you couldn't hook up with someone if you want to.

 

You don't just miraculously "get" a girlfriend, it takes work--start asking girls out! Sure, you might get rejected a few times, but that's life.

[Iceman26]

They know what you want. What you need to decide is if you want to be the guy in the PG movie, the guy everyone really hopes makes it happen, talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, but that approach always ends up on the friendship tip.

 

Or, do you want to be like the guy in the rated R movie, the guy they aren't quite sure whether or not they like yet, they aren't sure were you are coming from.

 

There is nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you are money, and you are ready to party.

[mdandrea]

Always have upmost reaspect, read the book "Every Young Man's Battle." I read that before I went out with my first girlfriend and that was good timing because if she was ready for a relationship, we would have had a really happy and long relationship. IMPORTANT, no matter what, after every relationship with any girl even if she was a word that I don't like to use, always be respectful because girls will like that and see that you are a good guy at heart.

[ShySoul]

Yes you are weird. But weird is cool. Just kidding. By weird I mean special, unique. There is nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend, you just haven't found the right person yet. It isn't something you can force or make happen, it has to happen when the time is right. Your probably going to be the guy who has only a few girlfriends but end up in a long, happy marriage for like 50 years. Does it really matter what your friends think? When you might the right girl you will know, it will work, and you'll be better off for the wait.

 

As for what to talk about with girls, I know the feeling. I'm shy to and I stink at conversation. But just talk about what you would be talking about with guys. Girls like music, sports, computers games to. Just ask what her hobbies and interests are. Hopefully you will have something in common and that can be a starting point to get the conversation going.

 

Always be respectful. Don't try to be the R rated movie guy if thats not you. Girls like someone sweet, nice and sensitive. Relationships shouldn't be work, they should come naturally and be all about liking each other for who you are, not for how impressive you are to others. Just be yourself and don't worry so much about getting a girlfriend. It will happen when it's right. Just make sure to not pass the chance up when it does arrive.

[speardane]

. Girls like someone sweet, nice and sensitive.

 

that's hilarious.

 

and true, too. girls love to be friends with guys who are sweet, nice and sensitive. :scramble:

[wlfpack81]

. Girls like someone sweet, nice and sensitive.

 

that's hilarious.

 

and true, too. girls love to be friends with guys who are sweet, nice and sensitive.

 

Haha nice and well put. They definitely like being friends w/guys of those qualities but that's it.

[ShySoul]

And what is a lasting relationship but two really close friends who have feelings for each other? I've always thought that the person you end up with is suppose to not just be a partner but your best friend as well. And if its dating or a relationship, not all the way to marriage, then its a good friend. Friendship is the basis of any real relationship.

[wlfpack81]

Sorry shy but I disagree w/you again. When I think of friends I think of a non-physical relationship in terms of romance. So if a girl only sees me as a friend then that means you two can't have a 'relationhip' in terms of love etc. b/c ya know in order to have a family of your own (which I'd like to one day) you have to have sex ya know. And while friends may mess around w/one another I doubt two people would decide to start a family if they were just friends ya dig?

 

 

Yes you will be "friends" so to speak w/your eventual partner and WE KNOW THIS but we're talking about friends as in just general friends and nothing more. That's what that post I was responding to was talking about. Friendship as in platonic, causual, I hang out w/you but don't have feelings for you. Sheesh.

[ShySoul]

A relationships is based upon friendship and adds on the physical level as a bonus. If the girl sees you as a friend right now then no, you aren't able to have a relationship. But who's to say it will stay that way forever. It may or it may grow into something more. Something platonic at the start can become more later on. I'm not saying sleep with your friends, come on I would think you know me better then that. I'm saying that the greatest romances start of as friendship and blossoms into love. The friendship is the foundation. And that physical element isn't nearly as important as the friendship, looks fade with time but as long as the person is your best friend and you care about and understand each other, you'll always be beautiful to each other.

[wlfpack81]

Sounds to me you're suggesting waiting around on the friendship to grow into something else. Sorry if a guy is comfortable with that then okay I guess but if a guy is in that mode were he's looking for a g/f then why the heck would he wait around if this girl wants nothing more than friendship!?!? They can still be friends but it'd be in the guy's best interested to continue searching for a girl that he can go to the next level with in terms of a g/f - b/f relationship.

[meyerjek]

sorry to interrupt you two but... i know how you feel man. I'm 19 and i have never had an official g/f either, lil fling never last long enough to become a relationship. Also, you sound like the PG guy, well so am I, and that kind of sucks, because most girls dont seem to figure out that this is the type of guy they want until later in life, and i dont care what wlf is saying, they do eventually figure out that a nice guy is what they want, but on that note, make sure you can also loosen up and have a good time. Bottom line, dont change who you are, you will eventually find a girl that will be your best friend and g/f, and it will be a lot better than any of the relationships wlf is talking about ( sorry about the attack wlf, but i just dont agree with your way of thinking at all)

[wlfpack81]

No prob meyerjek,

 

I don't agree with the view you and shysoul have about the nice guy route/image and it's good to disagree and debate the issue. No hard feelings and I didn't view your post as an attack anyways. It's cool.

[ShySoul]

Thanks meyerjek, glad to have a guy backing me up for a change. I agree with you.

 

wlfpack81, my thought is that the harder you try to make something happen, the better chance it won't and that he'll just get more frustrated in the end. Sometimes people get to far into the forest to see the trees. They are so concerned with finding someone that they try too hard. And then they miss what is right in front of their face. I look at the larger picture, a relationship isn't something that can be forced, it happens when it is right. So focus on your own life and being friends with people. If a relationship happens, all the better. And when it comes by surprise with no effort or expectations, you are more free to enjoy the rush, excitement, and surprise of it all.

[pchellak]

This is an very interesting topic; i used to think the same way as Shysoul thinking being nice and sensitive is the way to be. I used to be a nice guy a while ago and made a lot of friends (girls). I've even wasted some valuable time on a particular friend(girl) hoping it will turn into something more. My personal advice, keep looking for girls and never put all your eggs in one basket (you will regret it ... believe me).

I read in some article in a magazine that 'girl decides who is datable in less than a minute' and once the girl decides you are a friend its almost impossible to change it . Then again, a guy friend of mine got hooked up with a common friend (girl) and they are now engaged. They were friends for more than 2 years. I still think this is pretty rare, though.

[thefarewellnote]

First off you aren't strange....I know alot of ppl that have never dated till they were 20 something...and are very happy.

 

Go to church or somewhere where you can meet girls and talk to them about the service or girls at work, where you can develop a friendship first and then proceed to dating. If you talk to a girl and listen, then she will see that you arent wanting her for some "fun" (getting laid)

[Iceman26]

I agree with meeting girls at church (if you go) and having friendships with women at work is fine, but dating women you work with is a no no, especially in a profesional working environment.