questions about fingering

[surething]

I have recently started fingering my gf. This is a huge deal for her because she has never let anyone do it before. She's 18. It always hurt her and the thought of it scared her. But a few days ago i tried it and let one finger in, and it didn't hurt her. Yesterday we tried it again and sometimes it hurt her, but for the most part she actually liked it, and she said it could give her an orgasm if i kept going. (which is another huge deal) This is my first time fingering too. But i've done a lot of research on the internet about it.

 

I was curious about what hurts her. It wasn't deep and i wasn't rough at all, i think it was around her pelvic bone. Is that normal?

 

When i was in her, i felt something as i went in deeper, i think it was her g-spot but i'm not sure. Is it? It was kind of firm and small. I rubbed it and she loved it, and that is what would've given her an orgasm. So that made me really happy. How deep should i generally go?

 

Later on that night she said she started bleeding. Today she said her stomach hurts. I know there are a lot of posts about that and i know its normal. But I'm just worried that i did something wrong, since it was our first time and i don't want to hurt her. I don't want to be touching something that i'm not supposed to be touching. Is there anything i should stay away from when i'm inside of her? Does it sound like i did well? Is fingering harmful? I'm very gentle and for the most part it didn't hurt. I just feel kind of bad. I mean she wants to do it, but i don't want it to be a danger.

 

Thanks for any input.

[SaddyGrl]

O You might not think I know alot for my age, and i may or may not, but let me give you my opinion. I've fingered myself before but never really went deep. I was always to scared. But when I first had intercourse, I had started to bleed a little. I think maybe you actually went in deep enough,(now this might sound silly, but I'm only giving you my opinion.) while you were fingering her, to pop her cherry. But of course thats just my opinion, because thats what happen to me. Now if you're still worried, I think you should suggest she go to a doctor. In case it might be somthing more serious. 8) 0X 0X 0X 0X

[Burtee]

Well, first off, ALWAYS wash your hands before fingering, that is very important. And make sure your fingernails are cut and not jagged.

 

Does your girlfriend use tampons? Because if she can use a tampon without it hurting, she should be able to be fingered without any complications.

 

Also, you dont want to jam your finger in and out. Make sure she is very wet and relaxed (having enough lubrication is important). Try slowly sliding your finger inside her and slowly wiggling it around.

 

The bleeding could mean you popped her cherry. But stomach pain, bleeding, painful insertion - this really doesnt sound normal. I would try again, like I said and if she gets the same reaction, I'd tell her to see a gynocologist.

[surething]

Its been a few weeks and i wanted to update the situation because i have more questions.

 

It turns out that she had her period. We were relieved. So we didn't do it for a week or so. A few days ago i fingered her. The next day she started bleeding again. I think it lasted 1 or 2 days, then it stopped for a day. NOW today she said she started bleeding again. It cant be her period so i'm worried that i hurt her. My fingernails weren't long at all, but they weren't just cut because i didn't know i was going to see her. I've read about bleeding on here but i think this is lasting too long. What do you think?

 

Okay, fingering only hurts her when i pull my finger out. Why? Even if i go really really really slow, it will still hurt her somehow. It isn't me, she even said so. Because she can't use tampons. I think it hurts her around the area of her pelvic bone (i think thats the one). Despite all of this she still wants to do it and she says she's getting more and more comfortable with it.

[robowar]

If fingering the vagina is painful for her, maybe you should tone down the inserting part and focus more on the clitoris.

[beautiful_mistake]

I had this problem the first time someone fingered me. I wasn't turned on enough. At all. It was more hurtful than pleasurable and it wasn't fun. I didn't understand how anyone liked it. But later on I was really turned on and before I was fingered I was eaten out so I was all for it and I really liked it. Now I can be fingered right away without any initial stimulation. Now I like it! lol. But I think that might be part her problem... Get her really into it, make her crave it.. it might help.

 

I've only bled once because of a nail. CUT THEM.

[surething]

Thanks but those aren't problems for us. She LOVES it. She is always very turned on. There are no problems there. It just hurts a bit when i take it out. We've been doing clitoral stuff for months and moved on to fingering. I am her first for fingering. I ALWAYS make sure to get her really wet before i even think about inserting my finger.

[alicejlucas]

If she is relaxed and wet, fingering should not be a problem, specially if you're not going deep.

 

 

Nails do not hurt like that, and they give rashes or small cuts, not 2 day long bleedings.

 

Has your girlfriend gone to the gynecologist? She could have some sort of infection in her vagina and that may be causing the pain (I once had a hard time with chlamidia myself but Trichomonas, Candida and other beauties also may do the trick)

[SPark]

I have 2 suggestions:

 

1) she should go to the doctor to check for a yeast infection. The sort of pain you are describing sounds like a yeast infection to me. It is not an STD, so don`t worry, but the friction can be painful, and that pain is NOT a necessary part of sexual exploration. If it is difficult for her to go to the doctor, remember that there are free clinics that will keep things anonymous, so the family doctor is not the only option. Also, a lot of previously prescription-only treatments for yeast infections, such as Monistat, are now available in the drugstore.

 

2) use lubricant like Astroglide. You can buy this in the drugstore, too. You don`t need much, just enough to supplement the existing moisture. This might really help if she is nervous because of the pain in the past.

 

 

Best wishes!!

[alicejlucas]

JH, I'm sorry, but a yeast infection is a STD!

 

A yeast infection in women genitalia is usually caused by Candida albicans, a unicelular fungi...

 

Yeast infections or fungal growths usually develop in a moist environment, such as:

finger and toe nails

folds of skin

genitals

webs of fingers and toes

 

 

Take precautions, but don't be too worried... The vagina or urethra can pick up the infection through sexual contact, although sexual contact with an infected partner does not usually spread the fungus.

[SPark]

I`m sorry...yes, yeast infections CAN be transmitted to a partner through sex. Of course you are right. I just didn`t want the poster to assume that his girlfriend was lying about being a virgin. Virgins can get yeast infections, too. Of course they should be careful until it has cleared up. Thank you for the correction.

[imagi]

There are sexual pain disorders too where the person experiences the typical features of sexuality (desire, arousal, plateau and orgasm), but they experience extreme pain along with it.

 

I don't really remember what the causes or treatments are, and it is more than likely what everyone else is saying.. but what you were saying about how she likes being fingered and she is arouses sufficiently made me think of that.

[sweet_bebcho]

I had the same problem recently and it turned out that I had thrush. The nurse said that I got it cause I was taking too many long baths. If you sit in the tub with all the soap and stuff it will eat away all the natural cleaning stuff in your vagina and you wont be protected from bacteria anymore. It a sort of infection and if you take Candida, you can get at the chemist it goes away, or the recommended home remedy of putting yogurt on your vagina will help. I know cause I tried it.

 

When I had thrush and we used to have sex it would be so painful, it was like loosing your virginity all over again. My vagina would feel so small everytime he'd put is penis in. You girlfriend should see her gyno and get some advice and a check up. It will help alot.

[SPark]

YUP...real important to check the medical stuff first before what should be pleasurable becomes associated with pain!