poisonenvy Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 Well hello guys. Never thought I'd be back here again. But anyways. I had been in a relationship with someone for the past 6 months. We had a great time together, and never fought. However, he began acting weird when he learned he was moving away for a job. Our communication became spaced out and spotty, which made me have what he referred to as "fits." We tried going out of town a few weeks ago, and it just didn't go as planned. When we got back into town I felt detached from him, and I felt a break up was imminent, and couldn't face him. He had my ID and debit card from our trip, and texted me telling me he still had them. I told him to not bother giving them back, as I got new ones. I think this offended him, and took it like I was done. That evening, when I asked if he still had feelings he basically said no, and just cared for me as a friend? Seemed this happened over night so I was completely shocked. I flipped, I'll admit it. I told him I regretted meeting him, and to not communicate with me again. Well, to my surprise I got a text from him 2 days ago. Basically just checking on me, and told me he has a bracelet of mine if I wanted to come get it. I feel this was an excuse to see me, that bracelet has no value whatsoever. Anyways, I responded to set up a time to get my stuff. And guess what? He ignored it. Why? Why reach out first and then blow me off? Someone give me opinions on what that means! Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 He was likely bored and got curious. I know we often like to believe that this means they care about us. This can do us harm as it stops us from moving on from abusive/unfullfilling relationships. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 He was likely bored and got curious. I know we often like to believe that this means they care about us. This can do us harm as it stops us from moving on from abusive/unfullfilling relationships. Agree and why I always say, when an ex reaches out after months of no contact, if you're gonna respond back, have zero expectations, and let it play out. Who knows why people do what they do. They may not even know! Not gonna lie, done it myself, not knowing what I really wanted to happen. We get lonely, start thinking of the good times, so on a whim we reach out, not even considering how that might impact the other person. Then once we make contact, suddenly we realize there is nothing *there* after all, and disappear again. It's selfish and self-serving, but yeah admit I've done it and had it done to me! But what about your braclet? Do you want it back? I know you said it has no value, but still, it's your braclet. How long has it been since you proposed meeting to get it? Link to comment
poisonenvy Posted April 28, 2018 Author Share Posted April 28, 2018 Agree and why I always say, when an ex reaches out after months of no contact, if you're gonna respond back, have zero expectations, and let it play out. Who knows why people do what they do. Not gonna lie, done it myself, not knowing what I really wanted to happen. We get lonely, start thinking of the good times, so on a whim we reach out, not even considering how that might impact the other person. Then once we make contact, suddenly we realize there is nothing *there* after all, and disappear again. It's selfish and self-serving, but yeah admit I've done it and had it done to me! But what about your braclet? Do you want it back? I know you said it has no value, but still, it's your braclet. How long has it been since you proposed meeting to get it?It's only been 2 days. I have thought of a few explanations. 1) he got drunk and I crossed his mind. When he sobered up he thought "oh " and decided to not contact me any further. 2) he wanted me to validate his ego. Maybe he wanted to see if I'd respond. I (stupidly) did, and that was all he wanted. Or 3) he's just a flat out weirdo Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 My best advice is stop overthinking this, like I said who the hell knows why people do what they do. Your job is to focus on your own behavior, reactions and healing, and if him reaching out like this causes this much angst, then why haven't you blocked him? Link to comment
poisonenvy Posted April 28, 2018 Author Share Posted April 28, 2018 This is the first man I've truly fallen in love with. But you are right, I need to stop over thinking, because it's driving me insane. I wish he just left no contact between us. Instead of getting my hopes up I guess you could say. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 This is the first man I've truly fallen in love with. But you are right, I need to stop over thinking, because it's driving me insane. I wish he just left no contact between us. Instead of getting my hopes up I guess you could say. I hear ya but at least he didn't go ahead with meeting you, which possibly may have led to sex, and "then" realized there was nothing *there* and disappeared. Hasn't happened to me, but read tons of stories about that happening to others! Still sucks though, but could have been worse. Does your phone have the block function? If so then suggest blocking him, my phone doesnt have it, but when I've needed to move on, I've set it up so they go directly to trash. With my long term ex, I changed my phone number! It really helps! Link to comment
poisonenvy Posted April 28, 2018 Author Share Posted April 28, 2018 I used an app to block him, and I have the choice of unblocking him later. But this way I'm not obbsessing over him not talking to me. I just need to move on Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 29, 2018 Share Posted April 29, 2018 You did the right thing by blocking. I'm sorry that you are hurting. Link to comment
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