I'm not sure about this guy

[Creamybutter]

So this guy has been pursuing me for almost a year, calling texting initating everything. We finally met recently and hit it off really well. He was very well mannered and there was a lot of teasing and flirting. He then wanted to meet me every single day and kept following up. He mentioned a few times how he'd like to travel together with me and other future plans, events.

 

 

Finally on the 4th date he spilled the beans about his ex wife and divorce and told me he likes me which is why he thought he had to tell me now.

 

He then walks me home and txts me that he likes me and wanted to come clean with his past.

 

Then when I ask him what he's looking for, he says he does not know. That he just wants to be with someone he gets along with and then see how it progresses from.there.

 

I found that rather strange. Is he looking for something casual? Wouldn't he say he wants a relationship if he was serious?

[DancingFool]

So is he actually divorced, going through a divorce right now, very recently divorced?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately his partial confession, extended time to meet, fake promises of future, too much, too soon, etc. followed by this sounds like he's looking to cheat

Finally on the 4th date he spilled the beans about his ex wife and divorce and told me he likes me which is why he thought he had to tell me now. Then when I ask him what he's looking for, he says he does not know. That he just wants to be with someone he gets along with and then see how it progresses from.there.

[purplepaisley]

What's the timeline on this divorce? Just recent? Still in the process?

 

Personally, "not knowing" isn't that bizarre an answer to me. I think it's reasonable to "see how things go," but this does have a "casual" aura to it, as it's not clear he's looking to settle down, and if he's just recently out of a divorce, something long-term probably won't be happening anytime soon. He seems like a nice guy, and if you want to keep seeing him, don't get too invested and don't expect a lot. Chances are, he's not going to be ready to settle down again soon with the first "real girlfriend" he comes across.

 

I don't understand "coming clean" about the divorce. Lots of people are divorced. What is the situation that this had to be a "come clean" moment? Was he pursuing you during his separation and divorce? Never mentioned it throughout the year he was pursuing you?