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Fell for her but got rejected, need advice


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Hi all. As it's said the title, I'm having a rough time nowadays. As a quick recap, she was my friend, I fell for her, probably after realizing my feelings she started to cut contact, I got hurt and mad so I was being a jerk to her, she asked me what was wrong once but I said it was nothing. Now, our common friends are trying to make us "make peace" I think, it seems like that. I just can't act normal around her though, I can't hide the fact that I'm hurt and nervous. So, I think, to clear the air I should talk to her about how I felt and why I acted the way I did. It's not to "get her", I know she already rejected me but it's for me to move on. Some people say that I should just start acting normal and that's it, I shouldn't make it awkward for her. Others say that if I don't express myself about this, not only I would be unable to move on, but I would miss a chance to have a mature, honest communication with her and other people in general. What do you say?

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What is it you plan to say to her that she doesn't already know?


I am sure she guesses you're upset because you realized she doesn't feel the same way about you. It's not a big mystery to her, I promise you that. If you said things that were unnecessarily nasty, then yes, an apology might be in order. But I don't think sitting down for another talk is required to do that. You can keep it short and sweet.


Ask your mutual friends to back off. You need your space right now. You can be civil when you run into her, but I don't think you need to pretend everything is back to normal. Keep your distance as the emotional dust settles.

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I think you should simply start being kinder to her, and make peace. I would NOT confess that the reason you have been rude to her is because you have feelings for her. That doesn't sound like it's going to go down well at this point in time. If she is upset by your behaviour, knowing that isn't going to make her like you any more... if anything, she might find it immature or unattractive. The last thing she would do is reciprocate your feelings in this situation.


Be respectful towards her and if you become friends again, then perhaps you can explain to her why you had a momentary lapse of judgement which created strain. Until that point, keep it inside and act with integrity - she's not obligated to like you back so don't punish her it.

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Rejection stings, but in order to move past it, you need to drop the ego and just accept it.

In time, things won't be weird. But don't force it. I wouldn't say anything. And tell friends to stay out of it too because anytime people get involved, problems arise. Just let it be .

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