Confused by a co-workers actions

[pupaloo]

I just started a new job, and I work with a lot of people in different departments. Everyone has been so good to me, helping me get adjusted and teaching me the ropes of day to day business.

 

I am an older woman that has been married for about 38 years. One of the co-workers, that is male, was eager to help me, and chatting a lot. He was kinda too chatty actually, like he was more interested in me than just a co worker.

 

I purposely made sure he saw my wedding ring. He asked me about being married, and I told him, "yes I am happily married". He said "that is wonderful".. now its weird because he barely speaks to me and seems to be avoiding me. I do have to communicate with him on occasion about the job, but he keeps it short and simple.

 

I like to be on a friend basis with co workers because after all, we do have to spend a lot of time together working. I guess I am confuses by his behavior.

 

Maybe I can get some input here as to maybe why he is acting this way?

 

Thanks in advance.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it seems he feels rebuffed by that type of defensive comment, which implies he was making a pass or interested. A simple Yes, 38 years! would have been more fine..

I purposely made sure he saw my wedding ring. He asked me about being married, and I told him, "yes I am happily married". He said "that is wonderful".

[DanZee]

Well, I think he was being friendly and you misinterpreted his friendliness for making a pass at you and now he's staying away from you for fear of being accused of sexually harassing you. Workplaces are a lot different than they use to be and guys have to be extremely careful these days. You basically told him to get away from you so he is. Just be cordial in your future interactions with him and he may warm up a little over the next few months.

[pupaloo]

Thank you for the replies. When the co-worker found out I was "the new girl", He asked me how long I had been there and wondered why he hadn't met me sooner, etc....

I told him I was "happily married" because I have learned that some people don't care if a person they are persuing is married or not.... I felt that by telling him I am happily married like I did, I made it clear to him that I am not a person out to cheat on my husband or hurt my marriage..

 

I did talk to him today for a minute about a work issue... He seemed cordial towards me but kept the conversations only on the work level. Which I am okay with that.

[Jibralta]

I have learned that some people don't care if a person they are persuing is married or not.... I felt that by telling him I am happily married like I did, I made it clear to him that I am not a person out to cheat on my husband or hurt my marriage..

 

I did talk to him today for a minute about a work issue... He seemed cordial towards me but kept the conversations only on the work level. Which I am okay with that.

 

It is true that some people are like that. But I think what people are saying here is that your coworker might not be like that and may have been slightly offended that you responded as though he was like that. As a result, his behavior towards you became cooler.

[Wiseman2]

Did he ask you out? Nothing wrong with someone being friendly to new people at work, but if you want to keep your personal life out of work, that's fine too.

I made it clear to him that I am not a person out to cheat on my husband or hurt my marriage.. He seemed cordial towards me but kept the conversations only on the work level.