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How should I read this?


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Nothing was a lie Jon I promise you that. The more I think about it I think timing has played a part, maybe I'm just not ready for all this, it's been a bit overwhelming and I still feel like I'm trying to find my feet for me and the boys. I want us to be friends, I totally understand that will take time but I hope we can get there. I realise this is my choice and if I lose you from my life altogether I will have to live with that. X

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It's right there in black and white. All the chance in the world if u don't mess it up and she can keep it together.

 

If this girl is your jam....

Easy game.

 

Back off - do as she asks be her friend..

- ask nothing of her

- expect nothing from her

- be happy to do your own thing

- be happy to see her when u do

 

Watch the magic happen.

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Nothing was a lie Jon I promise you that. The more I think about it I think timing has played a part, maybe I'm just not ready for all this, it's been a bit overwhelming and I still feel like I'm trying to find my feet for me and the boys. I want us to be friends, I totally understand that will take time but I hope we can get there. I realise this is my choice and if I lose you from my life altogether I will have to live with that. X
Just play it cool. Give her space. Respecting a womans need for space speaks volumes about the type of guy you are. If you give her what she wants, she will think to herself that you're secure, that you're not codependent and don't need her to make you happy. Let her initiate contact if there will be any. Don't send "Thinking about you" texts or "How was your day". Respecting what she wants will also show her that you are putting her needs before your own.
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I really wish she would reply even tho it's only been 8 days NC
Get your head out of that. NC isn't a game. Keep moving on and stop counting the days. Treat it as you're likely never to hear from her again and live your life accordingly. You want someone to talk to you because they want to talk to you. Not because you're putting pressure.
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Is it ok to tx in 3 weeks to say hope you have a nice holiday with the boys? And nothing else

 

No, because you're just using that as an excuse to contact her. And she will see it that way also. What if she doesn't reply? What if she says "thanks" and then you try to keep the conversation going, but she doesn't reply? What if you have conversation, but then she goes silent for days or weeks on end? You're setting yourself up for more hurt when you could just treat this as the breakup that it is, and move forward. NC hurts, but LC which is what you keep wanting to do, won't be beneficial. She's made it clear she wants nothing more than friendship. You can't do that right now because you want more. It just won't work. When we friend zone you, it's pretty final. We don't really have a romantic bond with you anymore. Partly because the intimacy is gone and for the most part our bond with you stays strong because of that. End it, and our feelings generally dissipate in time. Of course. No matter the dumper or dumpee, emotions run high and both hurt. But even missing someone doesn't mean wanting to be together. So many of us try to hang on with hopes that being "friends" will get our ex back, but it doesn't really happen. It's just a comfort zone until you wean off one another.

 

You have to learn to let go completely because she cannot give you what you want. It hurts but you have to let go of hope and just push forward. If anything changes, she will contact you. I'm sorry you hurt. I hope you feel better soon.

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I had a reply today saying sorry she hadn't replied to letter she had alot going on and that she had lost someone close to her. She also said she would post a bottle of whiskey that was engraved with forever yours she gave me for Xmas and I had left at hers. Not sure how to take that?

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Her mission is severing herself from you as diplomatically and kindly as possible. Now she's sending your stuff back. Leave her alone. Stop the letters, texts, begging, etc. Don't become the grovelling, stalker, chronically texting ex. No one respects that.

I had a reply today saying sorry she hadn't replied to letter she had alot going on and that she had lost someone close to her. She also said she would post a bottle of whiskey that was engraved with forever yours she gave me for Xmas and I had left at hers.
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