i figured it out....

[Lambert]

All this hurt it's just the ego. And if you try to take your ego out of it. things get better. i can't put into words how to do that. i think each person will be different.

 

i kind of reached a point where it's like thanks for this hurt you passed to be. I'm going to leave it here. and move on without it. if or when it shows it's ugly face again I'm going to choose again to let it be.

 

I'm imperfect in an imperfect world and i can rise above my own feelings of inadequacy. can u?

[Hopeful7]

All this hurt it's just the ego. And if you try to take your ego out of it. things get better. i can't put into words how to do that. i think each person will be different.

 

i kind of reached a point where it's like thanks for this hurt you passed to be. I'm going to leave it here. and move on without it. if or when it shows it's ugly face again I'm going to choose again to let it be.

 

I'm imperfect in an imperfect world and i can rise above my own feelings of inadequacy. can u?

 

 

That is very deep and profound. Do u think ego is always the case though?

[Jibralta]

All this hurt it's just the ego. And if you try to take your ego out of it. things get better. i can't put into words how to do that. i think each person will be different.

 

Excellent observation.

[Roughpatchsw]

I love the thought!

 

For me is a mix of that and need to work on building up the the ego too. Part of the hurt is "I deserved that" when really didn't. So need to push down the pride over there that is hurting while building up the pride over here that says worth more than that! If I figure out an easy way to do it... well I'll be rich. Until then it is a see-saw.

[Lambert]

That is very deep and profound. Do u think ego is always the case though?

hopeful7... i think every person experiences things solely from their individual perspective. so in that way no.

 

do i sometimes find hope in those shared human conditions? absolutely.

 

i shared this bc it helped me get over a bump in the road i have been struggling with.

 

for me accepting the rejection from someone i admired so much, is ego.... how could they do this to me? and I'm finding that by accepting i am not special makes it a little more bearable...

 

and God Bless this man if he should contact me. it will be a resounding kiss my ass... I'm not special, neither are you nor what you did.

 

its all rather ordinary and unremarkable. it is not a defining moment. there are much bigger and more meaningful things to life...

[Lambert]

I love the thought!

 

For me is a mix of that and need to work on building up the the ego too. Part of the hurt is "I deserved that" when really didn't. So need to push down the pride over there that is hurting while building up the pride over here that says worth more than that! If I figure out an easy way to do it... well I'll be rich. Until then it is a see-saw.

ahhh rough patch.... the magic moment ous closer than you think. to have the capacity to see this shows it! keep working on you!

[Lambert]

Excellent observation.

thank you.

[SweetGirl28]

I'll never forget what you said to me the other day, about my ex filling his ego at the expense of my self esteem.

That will stick with me forever. And ever since I've been thinking back and he didnt deserve me being upset over him nor did he deserve a reply from me when he contacted again, nor does he deserve any more contact. It's done. We had our time, I'm too nice for him, end of story. And I didn't forget I lost two very cherished long term friends while he lost nothing because the three of them decided to not respect me at all.

 

Yes our egos take a hit when we get dumped. The rejection stings. No one is worth the pain when we didn't bring anything on to cause it and be treated like a disposable diaper . And look how many more people can show an interest in us. Fresh start. It's just about finding the right connection, which is so hard when you're like us who don't settle.

[11moreweeks]

It was always really weird for me when I got broken up with because it made my self-esteem go up. My ego kept itself very well-protected.

 

It has felt more like the death of a family member to me. I've mostly lacked the feelings of inadequacy after a breakup, but it does leave me at a bit of a loss over what to do.

[Lambert]

I'll never forget what you said to me the other day, about my ex filling his ego at the expense of my self esteem.

That will stick with me forever. And ever since I've been thinking back and he didnt deserve me being upset over him nor did he deserve a reply from me when he contacted again, nor does he deserve any more contact. It's done. We had our time, I'm too nice for him, end of story. And I didn't forget I lost two very cherished long term friends while he lost nothing because the three of them decided to not respect me at all.

 

Yes our egos take a hit when we get dumped. The rejection stings. No one is worth the pain when we didn't bring anything on to cause it and be treated like a disposable diaper . And look how many more people can show an interest in us. Fresh start. It's just about finding the right connection, which is so hard when you're like us who don't settle.

awww sweetgirl... i know good things are chiming your way. as sure as there will be a spring EVENTUALLY!

[Lambert]

It was always really weird for me when I got broken up with because it made my self-esteem go up. My ego kept itself very well-protected.

 

It has felt more like the death of a family member to me. I've mostly lacked the feelings of inadequacy after a breakup, but it does leave me at a bit of a loss over what to do.

why did it go up? not that its bad! i just don't know if that had ever happened to me!

[11moreweeks]

why did it go up? not that its bad! i just don't know if that had ever happened to me!

 

Given that it was my first breakup, it's hard to tell why. I think it had to do with me having been in a state of depersonalization that I really disliked being in, and the breakup kicked me out of it. We'll find out for sure the next time my heart is shattered!

[Roughpatchsw]

ahhh rough patch.... the magic moment ous closer than you think. to have the capacity to see this shows it! keep working on you!

 

Hope so. Actually it is. Today was just one of those days when it was going great then the light hit just right and I remembered her laying next to me... It was like an emotional gut punch. I just have to keep reminding myself this is same person who cursed me out, called me stupid and used my inner fears as weapons. The brain wants to remember the good though.

[Lambert]

Hope so. Actually it is. Today was just one of those days when it was going great then the light hit just right and I remembered her laying next to me... It was like an emotional gut punch. I just have to keep reminding myself this is same person who cursed me out, called me stupid and used my inner fears as weapons. The brain wants to remember the good though.

for all my wisdom[emoji23] idky as the dumpee, its so hard to blame the person who dumped us.

 

we see them thru rose colored glasses. i wish i could change this. i pray a lot. and i try to be kind to myself in my thoughts but you know my ex is still on that pedestal.

 

some how the fact that he had been able to walk away so easily... kills me.

 

however, i have not broken no contact in close to two months. so i guess he could be thinking the same. although i just assume he is not thinking of me.

 

o well... its a journey.... keep on keeping on! we must look forward and let go of the past.

[Lambert]

Given that it was my first breakup, it's hard to tell why. I think it had to do with me having been in a state of depersonalization that I really disliked being in, and the breakup kicked me out of it. We'll find out for sure the next time my heart is shattered!

wow. I'm sure I've not experienced that. i fall too pieces every time. I'm glad it helped you. that's a true blessing.