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Need advice about what to do next in order to be together with my ex


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Hello So, my case I guess is a little easier one in comparison with the others, but I still need some advice in order to know what to do next. So, I am 18 and my ex is 16. We are both in the same high school. We were in a relationship for about 3 months and we broke up a month ago.(I know it's not that much but we did way too many things together during this relationship and I want to get back with her because I see potential in this relationship) We broke up because of loss of attraction I guess. She didn't really know why she wanted to break up at first then she said she can't find her feelings from the beginning of the relationship and I tried to be cool with it even though I felt like breaking down all the time. We met and I talked to her and at the end of the walk I asked her if there is any chance we can go back together because the relationship wasn't bad at all we didn't have a single fight and we were feeling just fine. But then she hit me with "I don't know" and " I can't find those feelings" and I told her that it's ok and if she ever needs someone to talk about when she feels down and stuff she could call me. After that she hit me with a message 2 days later and I told her that I understand and didn't say anything else. And after that I asked her to meet me at school so I could give her my shirt to fix it and she seemed kinda sad when I hugged her goodbye. And after all this I gave her a message and told her that I am sorry for how I was in the ending of the relationship that I wasn't me back then and that I gave her this message not get back together but only to let her know. After that we talked for a little while and we talked again 2 days later. And in the time we were talking she would sometimes send me videos or photos of her and her pets, which I though might be a good sign. However I gave her another message a day later and she just gave me seen, but I guess she gave me seen because I didn't answer her message until a day later even though I told her that I study. And so the next day I called her and asked her if we could meet but she had other plans. And so I called her again the next day, 2 times. She didn't pick up but she called me back after the second one and I told her that I'm in the neighborhood and I was just wondering if she would like to go out for a walk but she told me that she has a lot of work and that maybe we will go out in the vacation( the vacation is over 2 weeks and I called her 5 days ago). And now I am stuck here and wondering what to do because I would text her or something but I don't want her to think that I'm needy.

And also the next week I have a school trip that lasts 3 days and when we were together she told me that she can watch over my pets and I don't really know if I should approach her again and ask her to come and take care of my pets or if I should just wait until the vacation to see if she wants to meet.

I know where I was wrong. I was being too available, too needy and too clingy even though in my head I thought I wasn't( but that's because in the past weeks we wouldn't hang out as much as we used too)

I need someone to give me some opinions so I could consider what to do next.

I really improved myself in the past month by working out and reading psychology books and improving my mental state, but I just want to be with her again because I see so much potential in this relationship.

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No amount of you wanting this relationship, thinking there is potential in this relationship or working out/reading books is going to get her to come back if that is not what she wants. And to be honest, it sounds like she is not very interested in coming back. No matter what little signs you think you are seeing, it does not make a difference.


Yes, it was fun while it lasted, but you are young. Learn from it and move on. Soon you will likely be at university with many more options.

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You're both so young that it can be hard to realise what you want, and as you're two years older than her you need to remember that she's probably less emotionally mature than you are. It doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong, by sometimes these situations just happen and it is just life. I know that it's rubbish, and it hurts, but you're obviously intelligent and strong and you'll get through it. Give her space, and concentrate on your own life. She knows how you feel, give her time and space to digest it, and if she wants to be in your life then she'll come back. Concentrate on self-growth.

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I am sorry you are hurting. This is hard. The other posts have shared good things with you. You are both young. She is much younger and she is still trying to figure herself out. You did not do anything wrong and you cannot force the relationship. She may not be ready for a relationship or a commitment. This is a hard age for many girls as they are unsure of so many things. I am sure you have those times too. A lot of growing and change takes place for both of you in the next few years. Give it some time. Spend time with yourself and enjoy this time in your life. If she is meant to be with you, it will happen. Spend time with family and friends who make you feel loved. Do things that you enjoy! I wish you the best.

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