The one that doesn't wanna leave?

[CoolTainted]

I've posted her for advice a few times. Even if I think I know the answer I post to see what other comments are on the outside..

 

I posted a pic on "Facebook" of me and a friends feet.. legs were entwined.. 2 hrs later I get a text from the ex-wife asking how i was and then said i heard through the grapevine you have a girlfriend.. my response was aren't you married.. She got angry and told me be safe and have a good day..

 

Next day she apologized sent her a kiss emoji hours later.. She said I'll always have a place in her heart and started to open up saying we should still be together etc.. told what she missed me things we did together and venting how she doesn't get that.. Also the issues with her "I'd like to call rebound husband".. sent me pics of us and kept every single one and looks at our wedding photos time to time.. explaining where we were and what happened next..

 

She almost came over and we both thought better of it.. last text I sent that day was so if i say i love you, her response I love you too.. since then I would end the convo with muah and she would respond the same..

 

always asking if i'm happy.. can tell she isn't..

 

Guess my question is: Is it hard for women to let go? The chemistry, emotions the feelings are still there for both of us.. Gave her a xmas gift and she has it hanging on her rearview mirror.. If I text she responds quick..

[DaisyMayPorter]

Don't you have a girlfriend? Or do you want your ex wife back?

 

I would say, it's only hard for women to let go, if there are still feeling there.

 

It sounds like, it's also hard for men to let go. Why are you buying each other Xmas gifts?

[CoolTainted]

This Christmas I didn't get any gifts from my family and she was disappointed.. She wanted to get me something..

I got her something small and knew it was something she liked..

 

Dating but not serious.. btw we aren't friends on any social media, someone tells her everything I post..

 

My ex wife is my true first love.. If I could rewind yes I would.. she has openly admitted the missed and loves me.. but doesn't want anyone know we are talking..

[Wiseman2]

Is she remarried? Do you have kids or any reason to be in touch? Block her and all her people from all your social media. Your life is no longer her business.

I get a text from the ex-wife asking how i was and then said i heard through the grapevine you have a girlfriend..my response was aren't you married.. She got angry and told me be safe and have a good day..

[CoolTainted]

If I knew who her people were.. We have a few mutual friends, but have a good idea who it is..

She is remarried and did if pretty quickly..

Reason I don't block her # she is my emergency contact and knows more about my health then I do.. otherwise there is no need to talk

 

And I agree, for men it is as well hard to let go.. She keeps reaching out for whatever reason..

 

Apologies if I posted this in the wrong forum..

[DaisyMayPorter]

Since she is married to someone else, maybe she shouldn’t be your emergency contact anymore, as hard as that is.

 

That is good to know men have a hard time letting go as well, but I think you need to let go at least while she is still in this marriage, out of respect for the other people involved. Tell her the same. Maybe if she ends her marriage, then you can get back together. But remember there are other people involved.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. You can put a family member, close friend and have your doctor's info in your phone. Why are you giving her so much power when she's moved on and married? Her marriage and it's happiness or not is not your problem and wastes your headspace on her junk. keep in mind, while she's blathering on about this crap he's getting sex from her, you're not.

 

You don't have to block her from your phone but definitely block her and all her people from your social media. How are you going to move on and date new women dragging all this baggage behind you? The sooner you sever ties the sooner you'll have a real gf you can put as a contact.

Since she is married to someone else, maybe she shouldn’t be your emergency contact anymore

[DancingFool]

Have to admit that I feel sad for you reading your post. OP, it's high time for you to start working on accepting that your marriage is over and that you have to let go and move on. She has actually moved on and moved on so far that she is married to someone else.

As for her suddenly contacting you like this.....she only did it because she doesn't want you to move on and be happy with someone else. This isn't about caring or still loving you, it's about possession and control and is not limited to women. Some people are like that. They see others as a possession. You may be a used discarded toy, but that doesn't mean she wants others to play with her toy. She wants to you continue to rot in some dark discarded corner.

 

Do yourself a favor and block contact, block those mutual friends...honestly there is no such thing as mutual after relationships split. People take sides. If they are feeding her information about you, they are her friends and your frenemies. Time to clear your house OP and heal and move forward with your life.

[CoolTainted]

It's been over a year and I have accepted and moved on.. And randomly she'll text me with words that we used to say to greet each other.. It's like GIGs.. Do I care if she is married, of course and not going to be the reason it falls apart.. It's the reaching out to me that has me confused and trying to go my own path..

 

I have listen to what words the two of you are speaking and taking the advice seriously.. Ty for the assistance and going thru the people on social media..

 

Do answer me this why would a woman start sending photo's of the two of you is she is "happy" in her marriage? I find it that she is lonely and again reaching out.. Not my first relationship but 1st to be like this.. usually part ways and that's it..

[boltnrun]

Doesn't matter if she's "happy" in her marriage or not. She's married. Period.

 

Unless you want to be the affair of your re-married ex wife, which sounds ridiculous, stop with the emotional affair stuff.

 

Does the woman you're currently dating know you feel you and she are not serious and that you're telling your ex wife "I love you" and that she "almost" came over?

[CoolTainted]

This.. If this is true.. This is a great answer..

 

As for her suddenly contacting you like this.....she only did it because she doesn't want you to move on and be happy with someone else. This isn't about caring or still loving you, it's about possession and control and is not limited to women. Some people are like that. They see others as a possession. You may be a used discarded toy, but that doesn't mean she wants others to play with her toy. She wants to you continue to rot in some dark discarded corner.

[Wiseman2]

Ego and attention. She is lapping it up that you are pining for her and she still has you on a string. It's not about you at all. She's probably telling her husband right now how you are still holding a torch for her. You want to hear that she's leaving her husband and running back to you, but that's not happening in reality, is it?

Do answer me this why would a woman start sending photo's of the two of you is she is "happy" in her marriage? I find it that she is lonely and again reaching out.

[CoolTainted]

Ha, if he knew what was going on I prob wouldn't be here typing.. But yeah, it's not happening and I am dating someone else.. Going to concentrate on her instead of the ex.. It's a mess that will end in disaster

 

Ego and attention. She is lapping it up that you are pining for her and she still has you on a string. It's not about you at all. She's probably telling her husband right now how you are still holding a torch for her. You want to hear that she's leaving her husband and running back to you, but that's not happening in reality, is it?