Fighting Boredom

[Unmotivated]

I tend to ramble on with my posts, so I'll try to keep this one short and simple.

 

22 years old, never had girlfriend/date/etc. At the end of high school and for much of college I was "passively" trying to find a girlfriend. I was hoping the right opportunity would present itself one day... But the longer I've been alone and the more of my friends I see in relationships, the stronger this deep craving I have gets. So, I've started to actively try to find someone.

 

I only know of a handful of places to potentially meet people. The main one recently has been at the cafeteria I work at. This isn't really too good of an option because I'm not in a position to be very approachable, being one of the workers. I sometimes go to the Student Union building, where poeple go to hang out, but I never seem to have any luck there.

 

Anyways, the problem I have lately is the severe boredom I face when I don't have somewhere to go to meet people. The craving gets stronger and stronger and nothing that I normally do interests me. I have to force myself to engage in an activity that I would usually consider fun. I notice that I eat too much when I'm bored like this and recently I've been really close to try drinking (I haven't drank in my life... Don't know why exactly, but it's becoming very tempting to start just to "fit in" in social settings...).

 

I just don't know how to handle this. I know it's not healthy to get obsessed with something like this that takes time, but I can't help it. The craving is very strong and the stronger it gets, the less I care about other aspects of my life and the more I feel like putting all of my resources towards finding that someone. . .

 

I would really appreciate any advice on dealing with this craving and the boredom caused by it. It's frustrating. Thanks everyone.

[chickensoup]

well i think a good way to fight bordom is go do some sports~! tat is what i do....playing a team sport is a nice way to meet people. for example, i go play badminton and it is a good way to meet people.

 

i wouldn't recommend sitting on a computer playing game or etc. even if u meet people in a game i don't think it will be eazy to find a girl frd there.

 

that is all ican think of at the moment....hope this helps u. also wanna answer my question about my relationship (since ur bored rite

[smallworld]

I've been out of college for quite a few years and the truth is you're in the best possible time and place in your life to meet someone right now.

Once you get out in the "real" world, your social circle is often limited by the workplace (lots of already married with kids folks) and exhaustion (putting in the 40+ hours.) College is all about trying new things and meeting new people. If you're bored, it's because you're limiting yourself to what you know and it's not working.

 

So instead of getting bummed out by the boredom, go where the girls are. Take a few classes where women tend to be the marjority, like sociology, women's courses, english lit, etc. I'm dead serious.

 

You'll instantly stand out (It takes guts to be the only guy in class.) and you'll have excuses every day to talk to women and arrange study dates. Be interested in the class and in your classmates. Flirt. If you're the only guy there, it doesn't matter if you look like Rodney Dangerfield, girls like the attention. Occasionally (not often cuz it's suspicious) compliment them on their clothes, hair, whatever. We like it when a guy notices. Ask them where they got such and such, because maybe you'd like to get a friend, your Mom, or sister something similar. When they say something brilliant in class, try to catch them afterwards and ask them what they think about some other point. We girls love guys who love us for our minds as well as our bodies. Get the point? Be friendly and approachable, but most importantly be yourself and have fun.

 

This goes for rec classes too like chorus, yoga, ballroom dancing, drama, or skydiving. Try something new that you thought you'd never do in a million years and you're bound not be bored. And even if you don't find the girl of your dreams in those classes, you never know who they might introduce you to. Comprende?

[cremebrulee]

I wasn't in a real relationship until i was 22. i started actively looking at 19 but that old saying is true, you end up meeting someone when you're not looking for anyone. I was just focused on my life and what i enjoyed doing. I don't smoke or drink or go clubbing and although that can be a little limiting socially, there is no point in being someone that you're not in order to find someone. I concentrated on work and study and my friends, did yoga and kickboxing, went swimming at the beach and then i met someone out of the blue while ordering dinner at a takeaway on my way home from work. He was the chef there and every time i went back he talked to me and after a month or so we started dating. It all happens when you least expect it. Try to find things that you enjoy doing alone and you might meet someone there that has similar interests. you can meet people in the most unlikely places sometimes.

[Unmotivated]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the advice.