Advice needed! Dating app!

[Sz1990]

Hi everyone!

So I need some advice!

I’m on a dating app and I have been speaking to a few people etc.

I’ve been speaking to one guy in particular, he’s a very busy man has a demanding job which is very apparent.

I have been speaking to him for around 1.5 month we are speaking through Instagram messaging, but I do have his number as he called me once and we spoke for over an hour!

He went away in December till mid jan on business but still messaged me despite the time difference.

He said we’d meet when he got back but took ages to ask me so I was in his area one day and suggested we meet so we did he was a nice guy we got on well and he text me after the date saying it was good meeting and hope I got back safe

I’m not an expert in the dating field, but we have this understanding where if he didn’t like someone after a date we would be honest.

Since the date he hasn’t removed me off anything and we do speak here and there he doesn’t really go out of his way to speak to me.

He also mentioned to me he was going on a date with someone yesteday and we joked about it.

Now.. I’m slightly confused it’s been two weeks since our first date he hasn’t really given me an indication of if he wants to meet again?

He doesn’t come across a bad person but I genueinly don’t know what to do.

I’m playing it cool right now and don’t message him but I do try here and there subtly, is this what people do when they date? Go on numerous dates at one time? He says he doesn’t really use Whatsapp but surely he uses his phone. Why doesn’t he text me or call me? Could it be he doesn’t want too much mobile phone contact incase it doesn’t work out?

Help! I do understand the dating scene and I am aware he is looking for the right person and keeping his options open and similarly I’ll do the same. But surely if a date goes well you sort of do act on it right ?

[LonelyJedi]

Dating sucks, doesn't it?

 

Spinning and wondering what he is doing will just drive you crazy.

If I were you, ask him directly. If you enjoyed the first date and thought it went well, ask him if he'd be interested in hanging out again. His answer will give you a clue to his intentions and you can finally rest easy. Just be direct & honest... best policy.

 

It is good that you are keeping your options open, don't focus too heavily on one person. I learned that the hard way, someone can suddenly disappear for any reason at any time. Let it happen naturally.

[Sz1990]

HELL YES!! It totally sucks!! I just feel like I initiated the first meeting, so he could at least initiate the second! When I speak to him he does make the point of saying things like speak to you later or speak soon when it gets late!

 

I don’t want to come across too clingy, I’m really scared of that and don’t want to frighten him away as I know he’s quite independent like myself but and would find it suffocating. But sometimes I just wonder if he’s thinking if I’m interested in him or not... LOL I think I have made it clear I would be interested in another date.

 

We were speaking about it a few days ago and he did say he was just so busy and finds it hard and that he’s going to be going away again next week!

I mean how hard can it be! Haha!

[LonelyJedi]

HELL YES!! It totally sucks!! I just feel like I initiated the first meeting, so he could at least initiate the second! When I speak to him he does make the point of saying things like speak to you later or speak soon when it gets late!

 

I don’t want to come across too clingy, I’m really scared of that and don’t want to frighten him away as I know he’s quite independent like myself

 

One thing I've learned - if someone really likes you, they don't mind you being clingy if you are. One person might view it as clingy, someone who is enamored with you probably won't see it the same way.

 

We were speaking about it a few days ago and he did say he was just so busy and finds it hard and that he’s going to be going away again next week!

I mean how hard can it be! Haha!

 

 

Bullsh**. Maybe this is just me, but people will make time for those who they want.

[Sz1990]

I guess you are right there! The mixed signals just annoy me. I’m literally just waiting for him to ask me on another date, he’s had so many opportunities!!

[RedDress]

I’m sorry, but I would let this one go, OP.

 

I’m all for women making the first move or pushing things along - but at the end of the day, even the shyest of guys know that there is a general societal expectation that they are the pursuers in a relationship.

 

You’ve made it pretty clear that you like him. You went to his area. You prompted the first date. You’ve been talking to him, making yourself very available to him and letting him know you are interested.

 

In turn (Sorry), he is telling you about dates with other women (he has time for them but not you?) and he’s... well... not asking you out.

 

You want balance in a relationship (i’d Say the same if you were a guy). You’ve gone above and beyond what a lot of women would do. You’ve done your “chasing”... now it’s time for him to chase you too. One-sided relationships suck and are very painful. You deserve someone who is as excited to see you and plan stuff with you as you are.

 

If it were me, I’d just back off now and either let him come to you or let it fade naturally.

[Sz1990]

I’m sorry, but I would let this one go, OP.

 

I’m all for women making the first move or pushing things along - but at the end of the day, even the shyest of guys know that there is a general societal expectation that they are the pursuers in a relationship.

 

You’ve made it pretty clear that you like him. You went to his area. You prompted the first date. You’ve been talking to him, making yourself very available to him and letting him know you are interested.

 

In turn (Sorry), he is telling you about dates with other women (he has time for them but not you?) and he’s... well... not asking you out.

 

You want balance in a relationship (i’d Say the same if you were a guy). You’ve gone above and beyond what a lot of women would do. You’ve done your “chasing”... now it’s time for him to chase you too. One-sided relationships suck and are very painful. You deserve someone who is as excited to see you and plan stuff with you as you are.

 

If it were me, I’d just back off now and either let him come to you or let it fade naturally.

 

Thanks so much for your advice I will definitely take it board! I needed advice from people who don’t know me, it’s so helpful! Thanks ☺️☺️

[Wiseman2]

Using dating apps requires some strategies. One is keep the chit chat to a minimum and meet for coffee asap. Anyone who keeps texting this much before and rarely especially after meeting is a time waster. No one is 'too busy to date' it just means they are meeting tons of people. No one wants a texting relationship, if it's leaning toward that move on.

I’m on a dating app and I have been speaking to a few people etc.

[Sz1990]

Using dating apps requires some strategies. One is keep the chit chat to a minimum and meet for coffee asap. Anyone who keeps texting this much before and rarely especially after meeting is a time waster. No one is 'too busy to date' it just means they are meeting tons of people. No one wants a texting relationship, if it's leaning toward that move on.

 

Yeah I don’t have much dating app strategy to be honest as I’m quite new to the game.

But even I find it annoying that he’s okay to message but not so open to suggesting we meet again! I mean he should at least let me know if he feels the first date didn’t go well and doesn’t want to see me again.

I would prefer to meet than text too! But I feel as if I’ve done enough chasing. He was adamant he’s looking for something serious and long term and so am I, so I just thought for that reason he should be quite clear about it :-/

[Sz1990]

Using dating apps requires some strategies. One is keep the chit chat to a minimum and meet for coffee asap. Anyone who keeps texting this much before and rarely especially after meeting is a time waster. No one is 'too busy to date' it just means they are meeting tons of people. No one wants a texting relationship, if it's leaning toward that move on.

 

It’s fine if he’s meeting tonnes of people or a couple of others as I’m still keeping my options too. But I don’t see how he’s going to work that one out, surely you can’t get to know someone from the first date lol! Requires at least some time and effort! Which you can’t give to all at once! Hmph!