Ex friend will not leave me alone...just trying to make sense of it.

[Nightrph]

An ex friend and I used to be extremely close. We were together as much as we could be. We both had similar odd schedules so we would stay up late at night most nights of the week watching TV until 3 am and then i would go home. It was just me and her and she seemingly didn't have any other friends, because when she wasnt at work or sleeping, we were pretty much together.

 

After at least a year of this, she decided she wanted her old friends back and she suddenly stopped having time for me. Then she started hanging out with them instead and of course that hurt BAD. She was a huge part of my life by then and I was absolutely devastated. I began hating these people who took her away from me...and I still do.

 

After two years of crap excuses that she had no time for me, but could make time for others and had plenty of time to text 24/7, we began fighting over and over. She would use her old friends and new friends and continuously brag about doing things with them and how beautiful and fun and awesome they are. She would send pics of them all together at concerts, etc. If she was at a friend's house, she would send a pic of something in their home just to show me she was hanging out with someone else.

 

After I couldnt handle the hurt anymore, I told her that I refuse to be just a text friend while the others get to go out and have fun with her. She tells me she is always so busy, so if she doesn't have time for me, she isnt going to have time for them and expect us to remain friends. I finally told her after the picture and bragging torment continued that if she wished to continue to talk to me, she needed to get rid of all of them and just be friends with me because I was sick of her using them to hurt me and sick of the too busy excuse when it didnt apply to them.

 

I totally understand that making her choose either me or her friends could make me lose her forever. I am ok with that. I am ok with being her only friend as well. Not dealing with anything in between after all she has done. Its me or them, and whichever she chose is fine.

 

Well...she chose them...so she says. The problem now is that she will not leave me alone! She keeps trying to text me wanting to talk. She will send a random text or email etc and I will tell her flat out plain as day that she chose her friends and I do not want to talk to her. So she will send selfies, pics of stuff she bought online, will tell me other random things just making small talk. She is relentless with this. I have blocked her texts, blocked on snapchat, gotten new snapchat accounts, blocked emails. If I block one email, she will get a new address.

 

I just want to know what the heck she could possibly be thinking in continuing to try to talk to me. I am not changing my mind on pick me or them. Told her that. Told her we are not friends, go away. I have told her I dont want her to ever contact me again...and not im language the could mean else. I literally said "Leave me alone. I do not want to hear from you ever again."

 

Why is she not getting this?

[WaywardKiwi]

Hey Nightrph,

 

Your question is 'why is she not getting this?'. Unfortunately, in order to answer that, I think you would need to be open to analysing your own behaviours and underlying feelings. I am not willing to comment further on those, however, as the overall tone of your post leads me to believe this is not something you have come here for.

 

However, regardless of how this situation occured and the underlying issues, if she is continuing to contact you after you have told her in no uncertain terms not to, and is going as far as to use multiple email/social media accounts to do so, it is harrassment. I would advise her that if she continues to contact you, you will contact the police. Keep records of any unsolicited contact. It may be necessary take out a restraining order if she unwilling to cease contact.

 

Good luck,

 

T

[DanZee]

Were you romantically involved with the girl? Her actions seem a bit odd if you were just friend friends. More like a spurned lover.

 

In any event, don't read her stuff and just keep on blocking her. She's trying to get a reaction from you, even if it is a negative reaction. Apparently, you're giving her that reaction. It seems to bother you, again making me wonder if this was a romantic relationship that ended. Or maybe she wanted the relationship to be more. Just stop reacting to what she's doing is calmly delete them as they come in. Eventually she will either make up or give up on you.

[Wiseman2]

Yes block and delete her on all messaging and social media. Try to make new friends and don't isolate yourself like this.