True Colors

[Truth506]

I'm going to touch on the major points that stuck out to me, smaller details will only make the post longer:

 

 

My ex-girlfriend and I met in October of 2017, we had a good relationship that recently came to an end (3 1/2 months). Things got rocky when we started to have petty arguments. One day out of nowhere she started a 'sexual stalemate' between us. She claimed the reason for this stalemate was because she wasn't fulfilled sexually. As a result of her ultimatum our sex life suffered. I made it clear that I did care about her sexual needs and paying more attention to those needs wasn't an issue for me.

 

But my issue was with the stalemate because it wasn't a healthy way of solving problems in relationships.

 

 

 

Fast forward a few weeks later:

 

We already weren't speaking much and were on the verge of breaking up anyway. Out of nowhere she texts me saying "I don't love you, I don't want to be with you" a few moments later she gives me a call, voicing her feelings of why she wasn't happy. I was gaining a better perspective of how she felt - we weren't arguing just talking. I made sure I put in the effort to understand where she was coming from. Her issues were over the petty fights we had in the past. Things that I thought were resolved but internally she held a grudge over. But I felt like with the right amount of transparency we could overcome those concerns, it sounded like she wanted to also. The issues weren't major but showed me how self absorbed she was. See, she wanted me to open doors more often, take out the trash in her home and make sure she was fulfilled sexually. She also had her fears about the relationship and where it was ended for the future, this confused me.

 

 

 

During our conversation I felt like something was off in her tone of voice - like it was scripted. I apologized to her for any times that I may have hurt or feelings - no matter how small or great the situation was. I felt like it was time for a clean slate why not now?

 

 

Suddenly, she hangs up and calls me on FaceTime - it appears she was drinking alcohol (1800 to be exact)

Something wasn't sitting right with me, here I was thinking:

 

"Why did it feel like she was deliberately looking for faults in me? Why is she rehashing the past?

Why did she send me that text out of the blue? Why did it sound like she was reading from a script?"

 

We spoke for 2 minutes before I heard someone snicker in the background.

She smirks....pans the camera to the right and there was another guy sitting next to her. Wow

 

His shirt was off too, strangely I wasn't as angry as I thought I'd be - I just felt like her true colors were being shown.

Everything that I didn't understand all made sense in that moment - they said they didn't do anything sexual but I knew better.

I had no idea who he was but they told me they met at a hookah bar two days before...and he was already laid up in her house.

My brief exchange with him was strange it was almost as if they were orchestrating this. Like, she wanted to see two men fight over her...

 

I told him he could have her....

 

Her and I met up later that night actually, she looked like a mess.

She assured me that she wasn't attracted to him in any way and that he has a babymother.

We talked about meeting up but haven't spoken since.

Part of me wants to work it out with her - because we got along more than we fought.

 

 

We had a lot of good moments, but the potential was wasted.

 

I feel like calling her to sort things out but what she did was distasteful...thought she was a good person.

 

Still figuring out what I should do next...where would we start to rebuild?

[ThatwasThen]

I say let her have him. What she did was a total disrespect of you and any woman that would do that, on purpose, isn't worth taking a chance on. You only started with her three months ago and she's clearly showing you, in a very short time, what a piece of work she is.

 

Time to go no contact and do what you have to do to get her out of your system.

[DanZee]

She sounds crazy to me. You're not going to satisfy her because she'll just make up even more stuff for you to do. You're better off finding another girlfriend then spending more time in this relationship.

[Truth506]

Yeah I'm feeling like NC is the way to go.

[Truth506]

She sounds crazy to me. You're not going to satisfy her because she'll just make up even more stuff for you to do. You're better off finding another girlfriend then spending more time in this relationship.

 

Good point - I guess these are traits of a controlling personality