sangheli101 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Ok, so basically we'd been dating about a year but we spent Christmas apart. She was alone at hers and began expressing doubts about our relationship to this ex, and also expressing some feelings for him. (At one point he asked him or me and she avoided the question...) I then came down to see her (oblivious to these messages) and attended a New Year's party hosted by this ex. I got ridiculously drunk and passed out basically, and whilst I was passed out she apparently followed him up to the bedroom to 'look after him and give him water' at which point according to both of them he tried to kiss her, she turned him down and nothing else happened. I found out about this via a message I read on her phone about what happened, when I confronted her she said that she was going to tell me when we got back to Uni as she didn't want to confront it while I was trapped at hers. I forgave her for the kiss, as both of them assured me it was him attempting it and she turned him down, so I trusted that. I then later found out she had been texting him expressing certain doubts, she agreed to let me look at the messages on her phone that she had sent. Like I said, it was stuff like 'can you imagine what it would have been like if we..etc, just reminiscing and doubts related to whether we were right for each other etc. It was basically an emotional betrayal, she said she'd thought about kissing him. So basically, she suffers badly with mental health issues (depression) and said that when she expressed these..feelings..it was because she was at home and it brought up bad memories of her past. She was in a 'dark place' and whilst she admitted it's not an excuse she's basically saying that isn't how she really feels. But I can't understand why she wouldn't come to ME with these doubts, but instead went talking to her ex? It's humiliating.. She assured me many times that she does love me, that I'm all she wants etc and it seemed genuine so I was able to forgive her. But I think I was caught up in the emotion at the time, because fast forward two weeks from all this and I'm starting to wrap my head around it and I'm not sure I can get over what has happened. I can't stop thinking about whether she's being truthful, whether more happened that night etc, it's tearing me to bits. I love her but is what she did really forgivable? Link to comment
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