tarotaro Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 I'm 27 years old ,working as an accountant. I met A. in March 2017 through a mutual friends. We been talking since then and started going out since late April. We been going out for around 9 months now. A. divorced around 2 years ago .A is 37 . He dated his ex wife for 5 years and divorced after 5 years after marriage . The marriage ended real bad and A is still traumatized about the process of divorced and alimony money that he has to pay her. He is still paying her now , around 50 k per year. I don't mind all of it . I knew its not a smart decision to date someone with so much emotional damaged through past marriage .But I processed it anyway because I like A. a lot and I somewhat think that everyone is able to get a fresh start . A. asked me when we started dating that what do I want ?I told him I'm looking for someone to get marriage and have kids with. First he was hesitated and told me that is not what he is looking for right now . So I was fine with it and did not contact him .A week later ,we contacted me and started asking me out again.So I assumed that he thought it thro and wanted a new start with me .We been going non stop since then for 9 months till last night. Recently , I hinted here and there about long term commitment so he can think about it . The night before last night i kinda told him thro text message .Last night he told me he wanted to ended it because he thinks we are not in the same page . I want marriage and kids .and he is not sure what he wants in life in general. He said he is kinda back on forth in the thought of getting marriage again and have kids.He needs personal space now. I did not say anything .I just sit there and cry while he was going on bla bla bla explaining himself . I walked him out of my front door and I started crying loudly after closing that door. I dont know what to do . I experienced a heart break for a first time .For my past relationship , I was the one afraid of commitment .I was the one that broke it up with people .I cried for the whole night and did not sleep .I came in to work this morning like a zombie and I cannot focus on working .I keep checking my phone if he texts me like usual . I spend every weekend with him .We talk almost everyday .We travel and go places together .What I am going do now ? What if i cannot find someone that I get along that much and have much mutual interest ...someone very kind and caring like him . I start questioning myself if I did something wrong ...I feel this is like karma to me for what I did to my ex boyfriends. I did not concern about them after I broke with them while they were firmly wanted to have a family with me . I was heartless and its now my pay back ? Does the chance to meet men that wanted to settle with me with come back or that is all for me ? Please give me some advice and share some of your experience . I am not thinking very clear now .Thank you Link to comment
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