Broken up: move on or stay?

[beaute94]

Give me tons of advice Ok, so me (23) and this guy (26) have been together since college. (4 years) We have had TONS of happy moments together. We also just birthed our first child in 2017. But like any relationship, there have been bad times. We somehow made it through.

 

Background: In the past, he has cheated more than once. I have yet to cheat. I just can’t find it in my heart to do so. Sometimes I could tell he was, and other times I couldn’t. It was my decision to stay with him and move forward, knowing in my mind, he could easily do it again. Some days I trust him, other days I don’t. That should be a red flag for me to leave, but something is holding me back. Also, I’m not the perfect gf. I try to be everything I can be for him but you know how that goes.

 

Our current situation: We have been on Christmas break so we have lots of free time. Usually he keeps me updated On His whereabouts. But lately, He had been “forgetting” to tell me that he had made it home (we don’t stay together) after being out with friends. One night he said he fell asleep and forgot to tell me. The second night, we spent time together as a family, he left, told me where he was but hadn’t said he had made it home. I called and called and got no answer bc his phone was on silent and he doesn’t know how. The third night, I face timed him to see why he hadn’t told me he made it in yet. We talked for a minute and got off the phone. He still wasn’t at home; he was “hanging out with friends”. He showed me on FaceTime so I believed it and thought nothing else of it.

 

So later that night I saw that he had posted “where u at, who u with, what u doing referring to me calling him and asking about him. I understand that guys need their space. But at the same time, I’m your gf and the mother of your child. I felt like he should have understood me. Another thing is, we have never posted our business on any social site. I felt disrespected bc of that. He couldn’t talk to me about it but he is posting it for everyone to see. So I called, no answer. I wrote him and expressed how I felt. No response. Called and called still no answer. So I gave up. What’s the use?

We were supposed to bring the New Year in as a family for the first time since we had our baby but he didn’t answer so I’m not speaking to him. I feel like he ignored me just so he could spend the New Year with someone else. He told us Happy New Year thru text and He called to talk to the baby once yesterday. But since then we have yet to talk. In my own world I’m done with him. He doesn’t know it bc he thinks we will get back together like we always do. But I’m tired of being treated like a second hand person when I know my worth. I want to be treated better than this and he knows.

 

So any advice? What should I do?

[beaute94]

I dream of living life with someone who doesn’t ignore me. Someone who doesn’t want to hurt me purposefully. If they do, they fix it. Someone that will listen and understand me. Someone that will love me and only me. I don’t get that from him all the time. It’s inconsistent and I don’t wanna keep living like this.

[Jibralta]

I think you're already doing what you should do: shut it down and move on. It will be challenging, but I hope you stick to this decision. There are DEFINITELY better people out there. But you won't ever find one if you stick with this guy.