New Year's Eve flirting

[iamwaffles]

My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We're still friends and we talk every day. I do want to eventually get back together with him but I'm not forcing anything right now. He still loves me and I still love him; it's complicated. Last night, I went to a New Year's Eve party with him and our best friend. He ended up having to leave early because he wasn't feeling good and told our best friend that he hated that he couldn't talk to me the way he wants to because of all the stress he's under. So while he was gone, I went around and talked to everybody. I knew all the people there, since we all graduated high school together and I haven't seen them in a year or so, since we all went to college. Today, I get a text from him saying that people have said that I've been flirting all night. I was confused and asked him what he was talking about. He said he was told that I was flirting with our best friend's brother. His response to that was "I just think it's funny cuz all of those guys are my friends. Go you." He said he didn't care and I asked him what that meant, then he said he didn't want to talk about it.

 

So I guess my question is what does the "I don't care" mean? Does he actually not care if anything were to happen or is he just putting on a front? I wasn't flirting last night and it frustrates me that people are so quick to assume. But now I don't know what to do because nothing can change his mind.

[SweetGirl28]

Of course he cares, otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it.

Some people love to stir up drama. It's best to try to ignore it.

If you get really defensive, you look guilty.

Not that it matters, you are broken up, and can do as you wish.

[DanZee]

Your ex is trying to control you even after he's broken up with you. He doesn't want to be with you, but he doesn't want to let you go. It's a form of emotional abuse. It keeps you hanging on and hoping that he's going to get back with you. I don't think he will, at least not in a loving way.

 

You've been writing about this guy for the past month and the answer always goes back to the fact that he's bipolar. You keep saying that he loves you, but I don't really feel that. Everything you've written depicts him as controlling and manipulative. He's loving only until he then insults you and beats you down, and then he's loving again. It's the typical emotional abuse cycle and you've got to get out of it.

 

I don't know what more anyone can tell you. I think everyone who's answered you over the past month has told you to leave this guy and go No Contact. Stop torturing yourself with this delusive that you know he loves you and he's going to come back to you. Be realistic and move on with your life. You've spent enough time with this guy. You can't fix him. And he's only pulling you down.

 

You're emotionally dependent on this guy, which is a condition he's created within you. You can see it with what you're doing. You're texting him every day and going to New Years Eve parties with him. Then he slams you the next day because you talked to people last night. You've got to stop keeping in touch with him and let him go. He's only using yo.