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Trusting again after a heartbreak


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I met a guy from a dating app about two weeks ago and I’m starting to catch feelings so I’m here to freak out. He went all the way in on me from the second he met me. In 2 weeks, we went on 6 dates, some of which were day-long and elaborately planned, most of which were very expensive and all of which were extremely thoughtful and sweet. He invited me to NYE at a private dinner party his boss is throwing which I’m attaching significance to. He’s told his mom, best friend and boss about me already. He makes me feel happy and secure, and I’ve never been treated this well. I’m totally wooed, but also worried. I’ve had the experience a couple times in the past of the guy who charms me heavily (never this heavily) for a few months then turns out to be a dud or drops me. My ex wasted my time for years by never really committing. I’m super worried I’ll get fooled or hurt again & hesitant to believe all of this or get attached. I find myself almost forcing myself to keep dating other people just to hedge my bets. He went home for Christmas & he’s not good about checking in or chatting on text (which he’s told me before he hates doing & is bad at) so my worries are flaring up...anyway I feel like I’m going to self sabotage from fear. How can I know if this guy is for real or just a player??

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Give it a time dear. Don't rush in heads first. How long is it since he was in last relationship? (he could be on a rebound) ... just try to control your feelings and keep telling yourself that you can't fall for him too fast. I know it might seem hard but if you keep telling yourself that it can work and you'll get enough time to get to know him deeper and see his intentions with you =)

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If you find yourself overwhelmed with romantic feelings for someone you hardly know - and in two weeks you can only 'hardly know' him - get a grip.


There's no easy way to tell in the early days whether someone's got serious intentions or is just a player, and that all takes time. The other thing to remember is that even if he's completely sincere, he will not maintain this level of attention and romance once the relationship takes off, so keep your expectations realistic.


And... don't neglect your friends, interests and hobbies for him. Look after YOU, and the rest will follow.

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Are you exclusive?

He tells me things to reassure me I’m the only one like “I knew I was seeing babe in 2 days so I saved myself” but we’ve not had the conversation. I think it’s way too early to have any conversations.


I will try to chill. The irony is I wasn’t into him much at first and his actions/sweetness are winning me over big time. I think that’s why I’m like “omg but are the actions real?” Also past experiences with dbags will get ya.

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