A year ago my girlfriend broke my heart

[sh17]

So a year ago my girlfriend broke up with me and completely broke my heart. She had good reasons to and I have no ill feelings towards her for making the choice she did. My job and behavior had driven her too this and trust me it wasn't easy for her to make that decision! We had been going out for 2 years and were living together at the time. I handled it badly at first. I did everything wrong by texting and calling her all the time and practically begging her to reconsider. Finally I realised the error of my ways and got help getting myself back on track. I now have a new career and most importantly of all an new outlook on life. I have tried dating, even had a short relationship with someone, but no one has even come close to my ex. I now know, more than ever that she really was the one for me and I completely took her for granted. We have, until recently stayed in touch. Even spent time together having dinner a couple of time which was really great. But she told me a few months ago that she had started seeing someone. At first it crushed me but I quickly realised that that would be incredibly hypocritical of me as that was exactly what I’d been doing. I didn't blame her. Still it changed nothing for me. I love her, I miss her and I'm prepared to do anything it takes to bring our lives together again. Oh and before you say, yes I know there's a big chance she won't want me and she's over me. Trust me I have tried talking myself out of this hundreds of times but I still come back to the same answer, I want her back. My question is how? As cowardly as it sounds I'm frightened of contacting her as I don't want to come across as needy and desperate as I once did. Still I want to talk to her so much, face to face if possible as I feel that would be much better and phone, text or letter. I know I'm not the only one who has been in this situation so I'm reaching out for some advice. Anything is welcome.

[rosephase]

She is in a relationship. If you truly love and care for her, respect her choices and leave her alone.

[mustlovedogs]

You need to start calling her your ex girlfriend. She isn’t your girlfriend anymore and calling her that, even in your head, will help perpetuate this hope that you’ll get back together.

[sh17]

mustlovedogs your absolutely right and usually I do call her my ex. Not sure why I didn't in this case!

[Andrina]

You can't approach someone who is dating someone else. And not only that, you're lacking integrity if you contact her at all when she's taken, as you still have a romantic interest in her. You haven't had closure because you stayed in contact. The fact is she broke up with you without giving you time to rectify your problems. Maybe she didn't care enough. And maybe you didn't care enough since you took her for granted until she dumped you, and now you want someone back who has turned into a compelling challenge.

 

It's good you've seen the error in your ways and have improved, but most likely those improvements will be for a future lady you've yet to meet. Try to be happy solo and eventually you will heal enough to allow a new love into your life. The new year is around the corner and time for a new start. Good luck.