Amakutee Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 I have a crush on this boy in my class. He's basically perfect. He knows how to play piano, guitar, and drums. He's smart. He's nice and quite handsome. He also plays badminton. I also gave him a cake, I baked myself, for his birthday, October 12. Anyway, like he and his seatmate constantly talk, I have no problem with that. But lately, they're always talking even outside of class. I can't help but feel envious of her. Due to my depression, I was sulking in our Christmas party earlier. I saw them talking and eating together and it made me feel envious. I kept convincing myself that it's not in my place to be envious of someone I'm not even that close with. Our class decided for each one of us to write a few words to our classmates, instead of exchanging gifts. The papers were put in paper pockets with our names on it. After we finished eating, the pockets were distributed. When I received mine, I was so confused whether to be happy or continue sulking. I, eventually, broke down and ran out of our classroom. I talked with my best friend about this. I kept trying to convince myself that, if I really do love him, I'll be happy for him even if he's not with me. I was also convincing myself, that I'm a selfish person for being envious. Also, I believe that true love is unconditional and selfless (we have Religion as one of our subjects so that might have influenced me). She told me that it's okay to be envious, but I'm not entirely convinced. Is this love I'm feeling for him or just infatuation? Is it bad to be envious? Link to comment
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