Ever feel like your just not meant to be happy ever

[Johnsmith2017]

I literally just feel like im not meant to be happy ever im 29 years of age every realationship i have ever had i have always been cheated on people just walk all over me i dont actually think anyone really likes me i feel so ugly all the time i hate my self i hate the way i see myself

[Hollyj]

Do you see that you are the common denominator: you are choosing bad partners and allowing yourself to be a doormat, due to poor self esteem. You need to change your own patterns, by acting on red flag behaviour, and instilling boundaries in your life. Once, you do, you will attract better people, and they will respect you. It's up to you.

 

I suggest you check out baggagereclaim.com

[and so it goes]

1.) Live in the present only. The past is just an illusion.

2.) Stop thinking about yourself so much, go help other people and forget yourself for a while. Volunteer with the truly unfortunate - hospital, homeless shelter, whatever

3.) Find the little things in life that give you pleasure - fan the flames of those things.

4.) Start doing things differently - remember if you do what you've always done, then you'll get what you've always had.

5.) Relationship do not define you - so you had some bad ones - sure, most people have but does that really define who you are?

6.) Exercise. Be healthy, eat healthy, think healthy

7.) Try your best to lose the negative thinking - it's not helping, don't dwell on things. Take baby steps towards balance.

 

Have faith - take it from someone who has been there - it does get better

 

Oh, and if you can handle bad language, check out the link on my signature

[firelily]

Yes, I do feel that way. I know it is depression and not truth. It's just a filter on reality. All I can do is to fight it to be happy, in different ways, every day, one step forward, one step back. It's never perfect but the feeling of moving a little bit in the good direction is much better than the feeling of hopelessness. Some people do get better and find happiness after all the dark years. I don't know if I'll be one of them, but I have nothing to lose trying again after every fall. I think the place where you can start is taking care of yourself, your wellbeing, your self-esteem. You shouldn't be feeling like this and you should get some help (whatever works for you).

[Krankor]

Yeah, sometimes I feel that way. I'm 40 and at my age you really start to feel the time slipping away from you. I'll meet someone new and things will be going great; I'll really think I've finally turned my luck around and then BAM, the rug gets pulled out from under me. After a while it gets hard to keep chalking it up to bad luck, and yet I'm really not sure what exactly I'm doing wrong.

 

You've gotten some good advice so far. What I'd add is that you always want to keep your sense of humor about you. Find the humor in your situation; it's there if you look for it. I'd also check out esteemdynamics.org. There is a presentation there called "building blocks to self-esteem."

[Hollyj]

I agree with firefly. Please seek counseling.

[PICCOLLO]

Its a sad but true adage that people treat you as you allow them to.

 

Build your self esteem, dont define yourself by your relationships and treat yourself with respect.

 

People that dont respect you dont deserve to know you.

[Mrs34836]

And so it goes - I couldn't agree with you more. Many of these topics will come up if you attend therapy suggestions. Great advice!

[hyden]

I will be 40 in March. I also have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever been in (except for the current one). This included my wife of 10 years. Also, I realized that throughout my life, I was always in a relationship. I wondered if I was afraid to be alone. After my last failed relationship (4 years), I moved into my own place and stopped looking for a relationship. Spent a year on my own. I was surprised how comfortable I became with myself. Yes, I was sometimes lonely...and being anti-social didn't help that aspect, but I learned not to make my happiness dependent on another person.

 

Granted, I have now been in a relationship for 2 years, living together for 1, but I think the time I spent with myself (alone for a year, and then with her, but still in my own place for a year), was extremely important. I guess my message is, be patient, become happy with yourself and things should work out.