Tdcjones Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Hello, I have known my boyfriend for 11 years, together for 15 months, lived together for 6 months. I work evenings and weekends, he works mon-fri 8-4. Every weekend he has one night out with his friends which doesn’t bother me at all, infact, I encourage it as he does a difficult job and it also means I get to have a night with the house to myself to have some ‘me time’. Anyway, over the last 5 weeks he hasn’t come home until atleast 8am 4 times and the one time he did come home was because he got punched. He isn’t cheating. But I do know he has a past with taking recreational drugs which worries me. He’s usually late home because he goes to a friends house and continues to drink. He tells me he feels he has a problem - once he starts drinking he “just can’t stop”. Today he woke me up coming in at 9am. Due to work I don’t tend to wake up until about midday. Today I gave him an ultimatum - go out by all means, enjoy yourself, but don’t tell me you’re gonna be ‘home early’ or ‘booking a taxi soon’ when you won’t be - just be honest and tell me you’re staying out - or I will leave. Obviously it’s not just that simple - he comes back so drunk, stays in bed all day the next day, his friends are so nasty about me. They once came into my work place and started being quite abusive but I will never ask him to choose. He broke down. Tears. Hugs. Begging. I should add he knows I have trouble sleeping and can get quite anxious when I don’t know what’s going on. Now I feel like I’ve done the wrong thing and rather than being highly emotional I should have waited until I had calmed down and spoken about it after thought rather than acting out of frustration and tiredness. I need someone to tell me - did I act out of spite and do the wrong thing? I never intended to upset him really I just wanted him to realise how I feel. I’ve told him before but until today I don’t think he understood how I really felt. Sorry for the rant! Link to comment
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