I want that light to turn off already:/

[rb1]

Given my current and long going issues with my wife. With all the stuff that should of ended it. How even after 7 month seperation it never got easier for me. How even thought my wife will never just sit and talk or tell me where sheÂ’s at with us or anything negative. Why she even wanted me to move back in but never actually tryÂ’s to grow our relationship. How IÂ’m excluded from everything she does socially. As if I donÂ’t exist outside of both our familyÂ’s and our four walls.

 

The time she found someone else during seperation and left me feeling she never told me the truth about it. Or that gut feeling if itÂ’s even done because she never talks or gives me the chance to listen. To pretend to hear me and the next day itÂ’s off to the same things as if I didnÂ’t spew my guts to her. To try everything from showing my emotional side opening up and even breaking down into tears. To put on a front like IÂ’m strong and will survive without her. You all get the point.

 

IÂ’ve been through so much and isolated within even our own relationship that a sane person would of shut her out and moved on a long time ago...

 

IÂ’m at a point that all I want is to not care, to not want anything to do with her, to pack my stuff and never look behind me. To feel free of thinking about her and why itÂ’s not working everyday of my life. IÂ’m so drained from fighting for us by myself and want to just say... f$&@ it! But I canÂ’t! I want that light switch to flip towards her like it did for her towards me. How much more devastation or punishment must I go through before it happens? I tell myself to just be done, and then it never happens.

 

Does it ever happen? Did it ever happen for any of you? What was the straw that broke the camels back?

[1a1a]

In my 6 year relationship, it was my partner going radio silent on me for ten days after a fight, combined with the reality that for every crush I didn't act on and got over, another sprung up to take it's place. I thought that can't be normal, if this relationship was working it wouldn't be happening.

 

For most recent partner, we've been split for two years (with disaster attempt to reconcile at the beginning of the year). So not quite the same because he had already bailed but my feeling was still there in full force. The switch began to flick when he moved in with his cuddle buddy of 4 months (the guy who couldn't even find one night a week to spend with me is now spending EVERY night with someone else). Finally switched when he told me they're going steady. What an absolutely rotten friend he has been to me. It was ok while he was doing that to everyone but he got rid of me to make space in his life and GAVE THAT SPACE TO SOMEONE NEW!

[Lester]

Did you ever read James Dobson's, Love must be Tough?