My boyfriend slept with the girl who had bullied me for years whlist we were broken up

[chey00]

Hi guys, I'm new here and really struggling with my relationship. My boyfriend and I broke up after I had found out that he was lying to me about cuddling my so called friend lauren, but lauren had bullied me for years and we sort of made up, which didn't last very long because of this. How it all started was my friend lauren had introduced me to my now boyfriend, but she was seeing him for a short period of time (they met up and kissed, which is when I met him) but me and him ended up together instead in a weird way which is to long to get into, trying to keep this as short as possible, but anyways, on my birthday I saw him looking directly at her bum which upset me quite a lot. I passed it off though, but eventually I found out about him lying to me, he had told me he only cuddled her because they were cold, and the reason he told me was because there was a rumor they done more than just cuddle but he promised me that that is all that happened. I found out from a friend who was there that they cuddled all day and night, not just cause they were cold. I broke up with him and a few hours later I got drunk, I was angry and upset and ended up kissing somebody. He called me names and told me he never wanted to see me again. The month without him was hell, I loved him so much and I didn't know what to do with myself. I ended up seeing the guy I kissed after e and my boyfriend broke up for a few days, but warned him it was a bad idea as I still loved my ex and would drop him if my ex ever came back to me. A few days later, he did. But he told me he slept with lauren whilst we were broken up. It hurt me so much, still does as he knew all the things this girl had done to me. We are back together as I thought it seemed fair, we both done wrong right? It's been two months now since we got back together and it still is bothering me, the thought of him and her together. He told me he was drunk and he regretted it, he realised in that moment he loved me and missed me, he told me nothing can compare me and she definitely didn't. I'm trying to forget about it because I just love him so much and can't picture being with anybody else ever, please help me.

[Hollyj]

Your story s very unclear. When did he cuddle with her? While you were at the party together, or before, when you weren't even dating?

[chey00]

Just when we were together he cuddled her on a night out when we were on a break but not broken up

[Unreasonable]

If I am reading this correctly, it looks like he did some sketchy things, and you did some sketchy things. If you want to be with this man, I'd call it even and let time take care of the rest. I'm going through a similar situation right now, and it's a hard thing to do, sometimes I think too much happened to ever fully get over it, but you just gotta take it day by day. Few things are more frustrating than being wronged and just having to eat it because you did too.

[Hollyj]

You both are equally to blame. Didn't you make out with some dude that night?

[yatsue]

To be clear, the timeline is her then bf at the time cuddled her friend lauren while still in a relationship. OP found out and rightfully broke up with him as he was cheating on her. Then the OP after breaking up with him kissed another guy, most likely be because she was hurt by his cheating in a relationship. After the breakup, her now ex slept with her friend lauren, the one he cheated on her with. Then the OP took him back after finding this out, but now is having trouble with that fact.

 

To be honest, your now bf sounds trashy. I can slightly understand your actions more than your bf's. At least you didn't cheat with one of your bf's friends while in a relationship and didn't sleep with them later. I wouldn't say your actions are comparable to your bf's at all. Yours aren't exactly saintly, but you did it out of hurt when single after your then bf was happily dry humping your friend when you two were together (please don't be naive in saying 'cuddling' isn't just that).

 

One thing is for sure, if you two want to have anything resembling a committed relationship, lauren has to be out of BOTH of your lives in any capacity (talking, texting, meetups, parties etc) or say your goodbyes. I would just leave the scumbag though. Can't be trusted to not hump any girl, especially ones he isn't even interested in apparently.