Tomorrow will be NC 21 and I'm confused

[snowtea]

Hello everyone! This might be long, I apologize for it beforehand

 

Last year, I started liking someone from my college major and after developing feelings for him throughout the year, I decided that I would tell him that I liked him. I did this in May without any positive expectations from him because we weren't really friends. Surprisingly, he asked me out to eat and said that he was very flattered. We texted for about two weeks before meeting up to eat, had a great date, at the end of the date, he asked me if we would be repeating this. I asked him if he wanted to, and he said he'd like that. Two days after we met up, he ghosted me. I was devastated, I couldn't understand what the problem was. I tried texting him a couple days after juts a generic "hey, how are you?" just in case life got to him and he forgot to reply...but nothing.

 

Fast forward to August, out of nowhere, he texted me and thanked me for trying to talk to him outside of school, that he didn't continue talking to me because he had stuff going on in his life, and if he could take me out sometime to make up for being douchy. I told him that I appreciated his honesty, and that I only would go out with him again if he truly wanted to get to know me, not just to make himself feel better about being "douchy." He said he wanted to do it for both reasons. I acted very cautious afterwards. We continued texting for another two weeks until we returned back to school so we could meet up. School started and he started ignoring me again. At this point, I was very confused and just concluded that he just wasn't interested in me. However, he after a week of ignoring me, he texted my friend saying he wanted to further with me but it was really hard talking to me. That he didn't know how to small talk and wasn't intentionally ignoring me, just that he was focusing on a lot of work and school related stuff, and that his love life was garbage. After seeing this, I just decided to text him asking him if we could please meet up and talk sometime. He agreed and we met up but we never actually talked about what was going on.

 

We continued to meet up once a week until end of October and have been texting everyday for two months. But end of October, he started to get a little distant. I've been asking him if he wanted to meet up and get dinner and he would never answer my dinner questions but answer my other texts. So I decided not to bother him about it and stopped asking him to hang out. First week of November, he texted me one night, and told me "i think you already know this but I don't wan't anything too serious, and I think it would be unfair for me to keep small talking with you since i think you might want something serious, what do you think?" I replied with "yeah i could see this coming, thanks for letting me know though He hasn't replied to me after that and has been completely ignoring me in classes. He won't even look at my face.

 

Tomorrow will be 21 days of NC between us. I'm confused; I miss him, I really miss talking to him. He was the first person that I've fallen in love with and the first person that I've dated so this was really painful for me. I won't be reaching out to him again because my pride feels really hurt, however, I can't help but hope that he'll reach out again. The thing that I'm most upset with is the amount of hope he gave me that this would go somewhere serious and just distanced himself from me after saying all that to me.

 

I'm trying to move on; I've been busy hanging out with friends and working on projects. My days are full and after day 14 of NC, I've been thinking less of him throughout the day. But nights are the worst, when I'm alone in my room and in bed, all the memories keep coming back. We may have dated for two months but I really connected with him. What do I do? Do I completely forget about him? Is it stupid to keep a little bit of hope that he would eventually come back? I'd like to hear everyone's opinions.

[boltnrun]

What do you mean by you two "met up" once a week? Did you go on dates, like out to dinner, movies, events, etc.? Or does "meet up" mean you had sex?

 

He made it pretty clear that he isn't interested in a relationship. So no, holding out "hoping" would be a waste of time. I would make efforts to meet new people for both friendships and potential dates.

[DanZee]

I'm sorry the first love of your life turned out to be a bum, but you have to face it that almost the entire relationship was in your own mind. He barely participated in it.

 

I would classify it more as a crush. Your first true love is still out there. Go out a date, and don't be afraid to ask a nice guy out.