Should I give my ex GF a bday gift?

[kbwilson]

Ok so my ex and I have been broken up for just under 2 months. We were in a LDR and after I went out there to visit things have been better but were not back together and she said we could start back dating to see where things go. Her bday is next month and I was thinking of sending her a gift card with a little note. Is that ok or will that just push her away?

 

She's been hot and cold lately

[firelily]

It seems rather innocent. I wonder if you want to do this nice gesture to make her birthday nicer, or to impress her a bit/win her heart with trying to do this nice surprise for her? Cause just so you know, you don't really need to impress her to win her back - she will make her decision to be with you or not based on how she feels and you can't "make" her give you another chance. If she suggested dating to see where things go it means you guys need to take things slow, without expectations, and let them develop themselves naturally without too much anxiety or interfering in their natural order. You should be chill with the idea that things might not work out. But of course birthday wishes are a natural thing to do if you are close - just don't spend your time on thinking of occasions when you could impress her with some exciting or generous surprises.

 

If you have some nice idea to do something for her, think first if she would do the same for you if the situation was reversed. If you think she definitely wouldn't do something like that for you, then maybe you shouldn't. If you think it's quite possible, then go for it.

[ThatwasThen]

Since your going to "try dating again" why not arrange to meet up for a date and take her out to a nice dinner.

 

If she's too far away for you to do that then I have to ask you what is the point of trying again when neither of you can actually nurture a relationship with the other?

[ClumsyGuy]

She's being hot and cold? That happens due to one of these three reasons, always:

 

1. There's another guy in the picture.

2. She's testing you and you are failing her tests by being too needy/insecure/not sure of yourself.

3. She's going through emotional roller coaster ride due to other external factors such as family/friends/work etc.

 

Perhaps she still loves you but she's definitely not in love with you. Since you both have started dating again, you need to treat her just like you would treat a new girl whom you are getting to know in initial stages of dating. You can send a birthday gift but just don't overdo it! Good luck

[Hollyj]

Have you made the move?

 

Have you considered therapy? Two months is a very short time to deal with these issues on your own without professional help.

 

"but when we had to spend time away I would get jealous of the guys she works with and social media bull. I also had my own issues of being depressed and not seeing my worth. She tried to help me and would tell me exactly what she wanted from me but i didn't listen. She finally had enough of my insecurities and broke up with me about 2 months ago. "

[Piaresssss]

I was gonna get my ex a trip to norway for her bday after we broke up. Not gonna do it now, how desperate and needy would that seem.

[dave4443]

If it keeps going well sure, if she's cold maybe just something tiny, otherwise it'll just be a waste of money