EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Me and my gf have been known each other for about 5 years, on and off we have been together for 3,5. We've been through some breakups and even been with other people for short periods of time but we always ended up back together. Now we've been together for i'd say around 4/5 months and things were ok. Last month was a little harder, I was sick and had some things on my mind and I think she did too. 2,5 weeks ago she had a birthday party, everything was normal. I drove her there and offered to pick her up when she was done, and I did. When I picked her up she was telling me how much she loved me, she wanted to stay over at my place but I had to work early in the morning so I said it wasn't a good idea. She kept showing a lot of affection, love and really showing that she was happy with me (which wasn't weird, she always showed that). So the next 2 days we didn't text that much, I dont know why. Out of the blue she said things weren't really going well and she said it might be better to just be friends. Ofcourse I didn't agree and told her that, there were no signs that this was going to happen so I was really surprised. We only saw each other once in the last 2 weeks, we barely text, and if we do its because I text her first. Yesterday we talked on the phone and I basically tried to get her to give it one more shot, but she kept saying no. It was not until I told her I couldn't just be friends when she was kinda shocked and she also started crying, she kinda begged me and tried to change my mind about being friends, but that is really hard for me. I don't think she is cheating on me, which makes the whole situation even more weird for me, how can she go from loving me till the moon one day to not having feelings anymore the next day(s)? Anyone who wants to share their knowledge because I'm really stuck here.. Should I stay friends and try to get her to see that we really should be together? Or should I just straight up delete her out of my life (sounds easier than it is).. I'm lost. Thank you for reading. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 On 3, 5 to five years. Why the hesitation on the next step? Moving together etc. Women want to be married. Maybe she feels that this relationship isn't going anywhere and wants to be with somebody that isn't afraid to take the next step. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 "When I picked her up she was telling me how much she loved me, she wanted to stay over at my place but I had to work early in the morning so I said it wasn't a good idea. She kept showing a lot of affection, love and really showing that she was happy with me (which wasn't weird, she always showed that)." How is your sex life with her OP, because sounds like she was going out of her way to have some sexy time with you and you totally rejected her. I mean........ not really surprising to me that she got upset. Women don't really take that kind of rejection well at all....like not at all...... The whole you had to get up for work is really lame in this situation, btw. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Me and my gf have been known each other for about 5 years, on and off we have been together for 3,5. We've been through some breakups and even been with other people for short periods of time but we always ended up back together. Now we've been together for i'd say around 4/5 months and things were ok. Last month was a little harder, I was sick and had some things on my mind and I think she did too. So you have broken up and gotten back together multiple times? Why be involved if that is what your relationship is? BTW, you *think* she had some things on her mind, but never talked about them? My first boyfriend broke up with me, got back together, broke up, etc. and then one day i just had enough. I thought relationships shouldn't be like this. It might not be about a particular thing but just that its run its course. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 Deleted this comment. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 On 3, 5 to five years. Why the hesitation on the next step? Moving together etc. Women want to be married. Maybe she feels that this relationship isn't going anywhere and wants to be with somebody that isn't afraid to take the next step. We're both not that old, should've mentioned that. I'm 24 and she's 21. I just finish school a year ago, and she is still going to school. During the week she lives on a all-girl schoolcampus. We did talk about moving in together a lot but we were going to do that when she finished school. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 "When I picked her up she was telling me how much she loved me, she wanted to stay over at my place but I had to work early in the morning so I said it wasn't a good idea. She kept showing a lot of affection, love and really showing that she was happy with me (which wasn't weird, she always showed that)." How is your sex life with her OP, because sounds like she was going out of her way to have some sexy time with you and you totally rejected her. I mean........ not really surprising to me that she got upset. Women don't really take that kind of rejection well at all....like not at all...... The whole you had to get up for work is really lame in this situation, btw. It was good, great even. I picked her up at 3 at night, I told her before she was going I would only take her home and after that go back to sleep. She knew that beforehand, and agreed to that Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 We're both not that old, should've mentioned that. I'm 24 and she's 21. I just finish school a year ago, and she is still going to school. During the week she lives on a all-girl schoolcampus. We did talk about moving in together a lot but we were going to do that when she finished school. I am guessing she is enjoying campus life and doesnt want to be tied down with a boyfriend. Maybe her trying to sleep with you was a last ditch for herself to figure out what she wanted. You don't have to defend not living together. JUst respect her wish to break up and don't talk to her. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 So you have broken up and gotten back together multiple times? Why be involved if that is what your relationship is? BTW, you *think* she had some things on her mind, but never talked about them? My first boyfriend broke up with me, got back together, broke up, etc. and then one day i just had enough. I thought relationships shouldn't be like this. It might not be about a particular thing but just that its run its course. The first break up was simply a mistake, we both thought that we needed to go our own way in the heat of the moment and never thought it through. Still stupid though. I feel like she has a lot on her mind right now, but she doesn't really talk about it. I kept trying to get her to talk to me about it but its stuff from her past and there is not much to say about it. I thought it wasn't bothering her that much but now I feel like its all too much for her and she sees breaking up as something that will solve her problems, i dont know. I've always been caring, asked her how she was doing and if there was something wrong I tried to make her feel better. Ofcourse relationships aren't supposed to be like this, but I don't understand why you would break up without any real reason. Especially since we already broke up because we thought it would help, and we got back together anyway. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 We're both not that old, should've mentioned that. I'm 24 and she's 21. I just finish school a year ago, and she is still going to school. During the week she lives on a all-girl schoolcampus. We did talk about moving in together a lot but we were going to do that when she finished school. I am guessing she is enjoying campus life and doesnt want to be tied down with a boyfriend. Maybe her trying to sleep with you was a last ditch for herself to figure out what she wanted. You don't have to defend not living together. JUst respect her wish to break up and don't talk to her. Maybe you're right, just wondering what people around this forum think about the situation. Ofcourse I respect her choice, I just don't want her to make a mistake. We both agreed that if we broke up again we would just delete each other. Would be very painful if she realizes that its a mistake in hindsight. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 It was good, great even. I picked her up at 3 at night, I told her before she was going I would only take her home and after that go back to sleep. She knew that beforehand, and agreed to that Yeah, but it appears she changed her mind and wanted more from you. Anyway, given how young she is and the whole on/off thing, probably best to call it a day on this and move on to greener pastures. She still has wild oats to sow, a lot of growing up to do and probably best that you don't play friendzies with her while she is doing that. Nothing good is going to come out of that for you. Link to comment
EllanKov Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 Yeah, but it appears she changed her mind and wanted more from you. Anyway, given how young she is and the whole on/off thing, probably best to call it a day on this and move on to greener pastures. She still has wild oats to sow, a lot of growing up to do and probably best that you don't play friendzies with her while she is doing that. Nothing good is going to come out of that for you. I think you're right, although an explanation on the sudden change would've been nice. Thank you for your comment. Link to comment
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