what's wrong with me?

[summer06]

it's been ten months since my ex boyfriend dumped me. i've tried everything to get over him & followed every applicable piece of advice i've heard but i still miss him more than i thought i could miss anyone. it hurts so so badly & i still cry every day. i haven't seen or talked to him since we broke up, i blocked him & we go to different schools.

 

we dated for seven months and he was my first kiss. this was the first relationship we'd ever been in. he dumped me over snapchat because this one actor turned him gay in less than two days. i wish i was kidding.

 

i feel like i was really in love with him. he was by far the most incredible person i've ever known, or at least the old him was, and nobody even compares. i feel like nobody can replace him and i can't fall in love with anyone after knowing him. nearly everyone my age just cares about sex but i'm so frustratingly sensitive.

 

everything reminds me of him & in my mind he's basically the definition of love. i can't listen to the songs i listened to when i was with him and i can't think about our time together without wanting to die.

 

i feel like there's something terribly wrong with me, or he was my only real love and i'm never going to get over him. im only 14 and i havent gotten any better so i feel like my life is ruined.

 

im scared i'll be like this forever since i haven't gotten better at all. i write poetry about this & i reread my work from february and i still feel the exact same way. nobody compares and im always so unhappy. i've made friends and cut my hair and my life has changed a ton since i last saw him but regardless, i miss him like hell.

 

i wish i changed so he'd still like me and id be happy bc im so ing sad without him. i wish i was good enough like the girl he was absolutely infatuated with before me. he actually cared about her and she was so much better than me. the new him is a piece of but the old him was so beautiful and incredible, id do anything to make him stay. please don't tell me he isn't worth it, the old him was.

 

he said he's not even sorry for hurting me, according to our mutual friend. and i can't help hurting over him so it's useless when anyone says he isnt worth my time. there are lots of boys but only one him and he's the only one i could ever want. if the kindest, smartest, most caring, and most attractive guy in the world was head over heels for me i'd still rather have my ex.

 

i know i shouldnt miss him and nothing helps. he doesnt miss me, it's over, and i know it but i can't move on. ive tried every bit of advice but nothing works and i just want to die. i feel so pathetic and im so tired of it. i've tried everything, what do i do? thank you.

[Dominique]

You are doing the right things. Give yourself time. You care for him deeply and he hurt you. That doesn't go away in a few months.

 

Keep doing what you are doing. Spend time with family and friends and doing things you enjoy.

 

Only time will heal this.

 

I encourage you to refuse to accept that you will never love anyone else. Your heart is truly capable of letting someone else love you and letting you love another. You don't have to feel that way right at this moment ... Just don't condition yourself to believe you cannot love anyone else. Give it time.

 

You're not ready now to be with anyone else and that is perfectly normal and perfectly ok. What's not ok is telling yourself "never". Never is a long time and you shouldn't tell yourself "never". Just say "not right now, but someday".

 

Sending you light and love and hugs.

[summer06]

bump------

[ThatwasThen]

he dumped me over snapchat because this one actor turned him gay in less than two days. i wish i was kidding.

The one actor didn't turn him gay. He WAS gay before he met you and was just feeling things out with the opposite sex when he dated you. Someone can't turn someone gay... being homosexual is a sexual orientation. It's not something someone can make you into.

 

I'm sorry that he made you his experiment and did the same to the girl before you. Follow Dominique's advice and you will heal in no time at all. BUT (big but) first you have to accept that it's over and that you deserve to be with someone who wouldn't use you in that manner.

[ShatteredMan]

You are doing the right things. Give yourself time. You care for him deeply and he hurt you. That doesn't go away in a few months.

 

Keep doing what you are doing. Spend time with family and friends and doing things you enjoy.

 

Only time will heal this.

 

I encourage you to refuse to accept that you will never love anyone else. Your heart is truly capable of letting someone else love you and letting you love another. You don't have to feel that way right at this moment ... Just don't condition yourself to believe you cannot love anyone else. Give it time.

 

You're not ready now to be with anyone else and that is perfectly normal and perfectly ok. What's not ok is telling yourself "never". Never is a long time and you shouldn't tell yourself "never". Just say "not right now, but someday".

 

Sending you light and love and hugs.

I completely agree with this. Take your time and heal on your own timetable.

 

This has been a pretty traumatic thing for you obviously and you may want to think about getting some professional therapy if your health coverage will cover it. Even if it doesn't, I would still suggest going to one.

 

The situation is not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

 

You need to take time for yourself and the answers will come as you heal and make yourself into someone stronger than you've ever been before.