Not sure what he wants

[Daisy78]

Met a guy, we've been for cofree, to the movies, for a walk, out for dinner and another walk.. we get on well. He once suggested we meet for a cuddle in his car so i was straight with him and said if he expects sex then we dont have the same values. He apologised and said he wants to wait too. Have similar hobbies. Things is he hardly ever texts me. This week we were meant to meet but he said he can't as he works shifts and has a family... not sure if it's me being needy or him making excuses. Yesterday I didn't hear off him at all. He never texts late at night ie past 7pm but said he isn't in any kind of relationship whatsoever, but I know he's on a dating website.. though it says he hasn't been on it in ages. He said to me he wants a stable healthy relationship yet on there wants to date but nothing serious. I don't know if to just forget him....if he liked me surely he'd text me more.

[j.man]

Frequency of texting has absolutely no bearing on interest level. This was gone over in your previous thread, so please go back and read it if necessary.

 

Good indicators of interest in actually dating include 1) not suggesting car "cuddle" sessions, 2) not canceling dates, and 3) if one must cancel, then rescheduling. At the very best, he doesn't seem to have the availability to constructively date. Exponentially more likely, he didn't get the lay he wanted.

 

I'm assuming you're of average or above average intelligence. Use it. Write him off and find someone with the time and desire to get to know you.

[willdation]

That's great that you want to take things slow. I would just not expect him to text ya that much as some people rather would like to meet in person. As long as you both are at least meeting up for a date once a week at the beginning I don't see any problems. You just like him, that is all. And most people have these same thoughts at the beginning of a relationship, wondering if the other person is into him...

 

Now I bet you will start to get some people posting here that you need to ignore him, he is a user, neglectful etc....but don't buy into that You both are not officially a couple or exclusive and just getting to know eachother still.... Just look forward to the next date....If he doesn't initiate meeting up within the next few weeks, then you can re-think everything....

[katrina1980]

>>If he liked me, surely he'd be texting me more.

 

^Absolutely not true.

 

In fact, often times it's the guys who text all day, every day who who are "stringing" you along, who dash off, as fast as they dashed in, after the initial "rush" wears off.

 

I'm dating a man now who isn't a big texter either. I'm used to guys texting every day, and it's just too much. No time to wonder about and miss each other!

 

I love this less texting soooooo much more.

 

When I do hear from him, my heart beats faster, it's exciting!

 

You need to change your mindset here.

 

Determine how much he likes you by how often he wants to see you, and how he actually treats you on dates.

 

ETA: Unless I read your post wrong, him breaking your next date (with what seems like a lame excuse) after suggesting you "cuddle" in his car and you turned him down, may suggest he only wanted sex and is now fading out since you asserted your boundaries, but play it out, time will tell.

[Daisy78]

Thanks for your advice

[SherrySher]

Its not the texts so much as other efforts he is making. Someone who is interested will be wanting to see you and be wanting to have dates (and no, not cuddling or sex).

 

You should be feeling wanted and that he can't wait to see you.

 

If you're not feeling those things, then he might just be stringing you along and looking around elsewhere besides you.

[Daisy78]

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and reply. I totally agree and just needed some reassurance to confirm my gut feeling.

[Daisy78]

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and reply.. I needed reassurance that I wasn't jumping to conclusions and over thinking things. Time to forget him. Thanks again