Is he actually interested or...?

[12Network]

Ok so, I'll try to keep this short, basically there's this guy I've been seeing for about a month and a half, though we've only had 3 dates (4th is tonight), he asked me for the first 2, I asked him for the second two. In person we have a lot of fun and he's really easy to talk to but when we're not together he'll take an average of 12 hours to reply to a text, sometimes up to 24 hours. I thought maybe he just wasn't interested so I let the conversation die off a couple of times and then within a couple of days he'll message me again. We slept together on the second date and on the third when we went back to my place he was like 'we probably should have talked about this before we slept together, I think we should talk about what we're looking for. I'm just looking to go out and have fun and I'm not looking for anything but not not looking for anything, I just don't want to be disappointed if nothing happens.' I'm kind of at the date and see what happens stage, so also not looking for anything serious, but also not opposed to it if something does develop which is what I said, so we decided to just keep seeing each other and see what happens. So now we're supposed to be hanging out tonight and then he's leaving for a 3 week vacation through Europe with some friends tomorrow, where I assume I won't hear from him for 3 weeks. Basically I don't want to sit around waiting for him to get back if he's actually just interested in sleeping together vs dating. What do you think?

[DanZee]

Well, it sounds like he was more interested in hanging out and keeping it casual than only sleeping with you. But you did open that door very early in the relationship.

 

Look, you're not exclusive together and you can casually date other people. Sometimes if a boyfriend sees you with other people, he might be motivated to want to go further in a relationship. Sometimes not. But after four dates, you guys aren't married. not serious, not going steady, etc. You don't have to sit around waiting for him to get back and you can explore other options.

[Keyman]

So, you are both chilled wait to see what happens people, sitting back waiting for something to happen. Well, you shagged, so that happened, but now you are both waiting for something else to happen. To be honest, I doubt anything is actually going to happen beyond you all waiting around just in case, but not pushing.

 

If you want a relationship, push for a relationship. If you want to hang about in Limbo, then just hang about waiting for something to happen.

[willdation]

You mention you do not want to just sleep together vs dating. Well, you are going on a date tonight...so I wouldn't worry too much. You both are just not exclusive and not serious yet, that is all...

 

It is pretty common anyway that people have sex after the second or third date, then try to get to know each other, then decide if they should continue dating or not, then decide to be exclusive...

 

Just wish him a good time on his trip and I am sure that after several weeks apart, you both will end up kinda missing one another and it will push things more forward when he gets back....