Girlfriend of 4 years wants to take a break to focus on schooling

[Arrow18]

Hey, I'm new to this but I needed to get this out and hopefully I can get help.

 

I've been with my girlfriend for over 4 years now, I'm 18 and she's 21. We met in high school (obviously) but the age gap has never been an issue for us and I'm fairly certain it has no part in this break. 2 months ago she started schooling for Medical Billing and Coding but is also working during weekends. Her schedule is basically 3-10 pm School Mon-Thurs (not including studying while she's home) and 2-10 pm Work every Fri-Sun.

 

Her reasoning for this break was that she couldn't handle the stress of a relationship while trying to juggle both school and work which I can totally understand. She told me that it wasn't me and that I had nothing to do with her wanting a break, it was entirely for school. She also says by doing this it will make having a relationship with me easier because she won't have to worry about school or about money after it's over. She wants to be on this break until April-ish (that's when her schooling is done) so about 6 months or so. She wants to still talk as "just friends"during this time which is both good but heartbreaking for me at the same time. She didn't want to promise that we'd be back together after the break was over though because she doesn't know what will happen with either one of us. She argues that I might find somebody or that she might even (which would contradict the whole reason for this break) She tells me that she still loves me and that none of the feelings she has for me has changed. We live next door to each as well so I have both the luxury and pain of seeing her every now and then (she spends most of her time at home studying so our time together during the relationship was strained) but she still talks to me everyday. She just wants to cut the whole romantic relationship side of our...relationship.

 

I love this girl with all my heart and we've been through worse situations and had a very small break before but overall our relationship has been good and she's said so many times. She's not the party type, she's anti-drug and alcohol and I know her dad and he's 100% sure that she isn't seeing somebody else. He said that her mother did the exact same thing to him during her time with schooling and that when she was finished she came back to him. So that little piece of knowledge makes me feel better but I know that she's her own person and it might not play out that way.

 

Everything of actual meaning I do has been done with her. She is my anchor and helps me a lot (I'm an emotional kinda guy) She is my motivation for most things I do. She is the best part of me and without her I know I'm not whole. Even though we may still see each other and talk it's hard not being able to tell her how much I love her and how badly I want to make this work. It's hard to see her and not be able to hold her or kiss her. I feel like I'm dying inside and it hasn't even been that long in.

 

She is a big part of my life and I know I'm a big part of hers but I am still afraid that she might find somebody else. I couldn't handle it if she did, we're so close and to have that happen would destroy me. I know that we're not technically a couple right now but that doesn't change the way I feel about her. I trust her reasons why she wants this but again it's that fear that she'll find someone during this time. I didn't want this break but I'm doing it for her to help her get through this. I want to take this time to get my own together and hopefully that will help us even more. I'm currently working on becoming a real estate agent.

 

I just need help or reassurance or something. This girl is everything to me and I know that we're young but I will do whatever it takes to make this relationship work. So if anybody has advice or anything that could help please let me know. I know there's always the possibility that even after this is over she may not want a relationship with me anymore but I want to do whatever I can to make sure that doesn't happen and make these next 6 months easier on her and I.

[Knight2001]

hi,

sorry to hear she's after this break. normally if someone suggests a break to me i'm done with that relationship.

however, if you want to sit around for 6 months waiting for her to finish whatever it is she has to do (like she hasnt got a spare couple of hours per week) you go ahead and do that.

if you still want a relationship with her use this 6 months to have fun with your friends etc. give her the time she wants and if she comes back, great, if not, great as you have your whole life in front of you.

just out of interest, this 6 months also includes the christmas period, so i just dont understand how she has no spare time.

[Keyman]

I'm sorry to say that in my opinion she is looking for a way out of the relationship.

 

She wants to take out the romantic side of the relationship because it is putting too much stress on the work and schooling? Someone that is serious about a relationship does not cast it aside because they are too busy, they work it in.

 

Oh and she can't promise that after the break you'll get back together because she doesn't know what will happen. Which means, she hopes that cute guy in her class asks her out, I mean they flirt and stuff, and she likes it, so that could probably work out.

 

Time to start moving on dude, and probably time to move our from your parents place to get away from her too.