Moving abroad for love?

[luciamts]

I met my boyfriend about 10 months ago while traveling in Asia. He is from Europe and I am from the States. We hit it off immediately and began a sort of long-distance relationship. Then that was followed by visits back and forth to see each other. Prior to this I was living more than half of the year in Asia, and the rest in America. When I was back home I stayed with my family since I didn't want to have a full time apartment to worry about. I did miss living on my own, and so when my boyfriend offered for me to move into his flat I accepted. He even did a ton of work on his place to get it comfy for me to stay in, and that I would have a place to do my art work. The hard part is that his place is kind of remote, in a small village of 90 people, about 2 kilometers from a train station. I don't speak the language, and the weather is colder and wetter than I like. I have a bike here but it always seems to be gross outside and I rarely want to leave the house while he is at work. Now I'm starting to miss America, and the freedom I felt like I had. I am missing being busy, and seeing my family, and having plans with my friends. I miss being able to understand people in conversations. I miss the weather and the drives in my car. It seems dumb but I would give anything just to be able to run errands by myself!!! I've told him how I feel and he understands, but when I told him I wanted to spend some time home for the holidays (maybe 3 weeks) he seemed very sad. He said it was okay but I could tell that it hurts him that I don't love it here. To be honest, I've been pretty miserable since the transition (about one month ago) and I've taken a lot of my emotions out on him and I feel bad about it.

 

My question is this: At what point do I realize if this is not for me? I know right now I am homesick and having a hard time transitioning and that perhaps with time I might feel better, but how long is that going to take? What if I'll never fully adjust to this different lifestyle? How do I differentiate between just having a hard time and the realization that maybe I didn't make the right choice by moving here?!

 

I appreciate your advice!

[Keyman]

I guess it comes down to how much you feel for your boyfriend. You uprooted yourself to live there for him.

 

My suggestion would be to give it a little bit longer, put yourself out there a little, take a language course, try to aclimatise to the new culture and then, after another month or two, if you just can't take it anymore, and he alone is not enough to hold you there, then go home.

[melancholy123]

Maybe give it 6 months and then see how you feel. One month isnt long enough. Try to learn the language, try to get out more. If in 6 months you feel the way you do right now, then it's time to go home. Can he move to the US?