best way to let someone know you arent interested?

[lovelostlady]

i somehow always end up in these situations.

 

this guy who ive seen around and spoken to a few times was at this show i was at last night. its obvious he has a thing for me. so last night he was talking to me and asked me for my number and if i wanted to go out sometime. i have never ever not given someone my number when they asked for it, even though i knew good and well i didnt want them with it. he seems nice and all but i am just not interested in him. once again im stuck in this cycle dreading him calling me. i know it seems harsh, but typically i just dodge their phone calls and hope that they'll get the idea, because i cant bear telling them straight up that im not interested in them at all.

 

how do you guys handle this?

[DN]

You have to summon the courage to just smile and say "thanks for the compliment but I would rather not".

[wlfpack81]

I'd suggest if you don't like him that you just tell him right then in there. If he calls you a number of times and doesn't get response then that'll make him feel like crap even more and he'll get angry.

 

You don't have to lie and say you have a b/f or something but maybe just say you aren't interested in dating at the moment or something.

[S4il]

Sorry no offense but i can't stand girls that do like what you explained in your post, again no offense.

 

I personally would rather have a girl say early on "I'm sorry but I'm not interested" and i can walk away with my head up high.

 

NOT the knavishly toned excuse such as- "Oh I'm busy" or "I don't give out my number to anyone" those are so transparent it's laughable, It's also telling Lies, And that gets you NO where.

 

Tell him the truth, tell him your just not interested in him, You might make him upset for a while, break his heart..... but in the long run, if he has tough skin he will get over it, and you can honestly save yourself a lot of unnecessary *DODGING*

[Anamarie89]

Hahaha I didn't even have that problem until this year, and until this year I would have been soo jealous of you...

 

But I always use the "You make such a good friend, why would I want to ruin that?" (And more recently, "I have a boyfriend".)

 

I have to say that you shouldn't have given him your phone number in the first place, that's leading the poor guy on.

 

Anyway, all I would have wanted to say has been said, but basically... it's more cruel to let him think you'll go out with him then to tell him up front that you aren't interested.

[huszar]

The best thing to do if you don't like somebody and you absolutely KNOW their intention is to tell them the truth. It saves them much heartache in the long run.

[eddie500]

All guys take a look at this becuase this is very common. Most girls will not say "no" to a guy when asking for the number.. I've heard about this, and that is why you really can't guage if girl really likes you based on her giving you the number.

Its understandable a girl is not going to say no to a guys face, that would just be very rude and not worth the confrontation. Bascially you girls must know that, its a huge thing to a guy to be rejected.. and you girls must think its very mean to reject the guy to his face.. perfectly understandable.

 

 

 

 

 

This guy just has no game.. if he did he wouldn't be so ovious that he had a thing for you. Having a "thing" for a woman.. doesn't make the girl just like you. USUALLY, girls find guys who may not be so interested in them more interesting.

 

 

Well in your situation you have to figure out how you want to come accross to the guy.

If you want to be rude and rejecting, when they ask for your phone number you can just say no to the face... But thats really rude, especially if you have to keep seeing the guy.

 

I guess you can do the typical like what you have been doing, give the guy your phone number, and than when he calls you just keep blowing him off. But the sad truth is, most guys just don't get the picture that when they are being blown off, the girl is just not interested in them. They probably keep calling, and thinking your excuses are valid.. I would realize within 1 call if your really interested in going out or blowing me off.

This way will probably be the least confrontational. Anyway I'm sure you girls get really flattered by these guys, calling you and interested in you, even though you wouldn't give them 5 minutes of your time.

[DN]

It's much less rude to tell a guy no as gently as you an than to lead him on by giving him your number and then didging his calls.

[lovelostlady]

thanks for the responses. they are pretty much what i was expecting. i know deep down the best thing to do is nip it in the bud now and tell him im not interested. i know i shouldnt lie, but this isnt a total lie, i think my approach will be "i dont want to date anyone right now". i just dont want to be rude or mean about it, because he seems like a nice enough guy.

 

what stinks is that i frequent his place of employment, since a few of my friends work there also. i hate that ill have to avoid going there. one of these guys who works with him did tell me that this guy was a "little crazy". i said, if i turn him down will he stalk me?, and he was like "maybe"

 

i felt through our interactions i made it clear that i wasnt interested. im very nice to him, but im pretty sure my vibe is saying im not interested. he doesnt seem to get hints. when he asked for my number, i had this horrible long hesitation, and it was like i couldnt think of a way to say no fast enough, it was like "uhhhhhhhhh...sure". terrible.