The End of My Suffering is Here!!

[Idelion]

Well here's my story, I posted first in the Break Up section and then the Getting Back Together section, but what I posted in each one had to do with the subject (just in case) 8)

 

 

 

So, after 4 days of giving her spaces I started to feel weird, like I wasn't waiting for anything, like it was all in vain. I consulted my friends ( the ones who knew), and in this forum, but in the end they were all suggestions, every situation is different, what could've worked for one would've ruin another. On the fifth day I really couldn't take it anymore, becase if I was absolutely sure that I had a small glimmer of hope left, and wouldn't mind the waiting and the No Contact attitude, but something told me that i had to clear that out. During that night I talked to a Christian friend of mine that knew me through a friend, we liked each other for a while, but nothing grew out of that, I told her my situation and she told me that if I really felt I had to clear this, to do it! Because this maybe be a way from God to help (and that wouldn't surprise me since He really works in misterious ways). Well, I called at 9pm and left her a message saying what I wanted to talk about, nice and calm. Well, i waited, and waited, and she didn't call back. My friends were saying that if she didn't call that she was crazy not to! The next day she didn't have any classes, so I knew that she wasn't sleeping, I knew her pretty well. So, I called again at 12am, and she answered, she was with her friends at BK, and i asked if she had listen to the message I left her, she said yes but she was busy, I said ok no prob. I began by asking her if I there was still hope of going back together, because if there was any, i wouldn't mind the waiting at all 'cause it'll be worth it. She said that she already told me that there was no chance, that she wanted to be alone. I then said that in my last call, the one i said about giving her the space she wanted, I spoke very clearly about what I was doing and why, that i wanted her back but when she was ready, that I would wait for her, and that i spoke and picked carefully those words so that there wouldn't be any missunderstaing. She said that she thought I knew that i was truly over, and I said she should've told right then and there, because I spoke very clearly, because the last time she said anything about her decision was thay it wasn't final. I got angry and surprised at all of this since I was waiting for nothing!! My gut feeling was right!! I asked her if she still loved me, and she said that she didn't and I said but how?? in a week that love disappeared?! She was leaving in her friend's car to get hers, and her friend hung up the phone. I called a friend who was up to date on the situation and even she was surprised that i was waiting for nothing and she didn't told me anything! Well, we talked and I was waiting to give her one more call because I really wanted to get somethings out of my chest to feel better, nothing to make everything worse. Well, a half hour passed and I called, she was on her car, and we spoke, I told her very calmly that during all this time, I had my friend's support and that without them I really didn't how I how I would be feeling all this past days of waiting. I continued by saying that I feel much better because I haven't felt this good since a long time because I know that I didn't do anything wrong. I waited (for nothing) but I was true to my word, she said that the same thing that was happening to me happened to her with ex, I said ok, but it's over, and now you did it to me, but it's all in the past now. I almost started to cry when I began to say how wonderful and meaningful this relationship was to me, what she meant to me. That in the last couple of days we've went through hell, but if we didn't went through that we wouldn't got to where we were. I told her that i still loved her very much, that even though her ex didn't loved her, that she would at least feel good that she knew I love/d her! I told her that this was the best relationship I've had, and that I didn't hold any grudges at her, none! I wished her the best, and that if someday our paths united again, well, at least we knew each other a lot, so at least we had that part covered(that I know how, when to make her laugh, and when not to, for example) 8) . After spilling my heart ,I said goobye and goodnight.

 

I really felt a sense of closure for the first time in a relationship. This was, without a doubt in my mind and in my heart, THE BEST relationship I've had, and her, the best girl that treated me right. Although she confused some feelings, I somehow sense that this was all necessary. I feel a whole lot better, I still miss her, but anyway, I got closure. I hope that this helps anyone that is in a similar situation. Take care everybody, and thanks to all of those who read and replied!!

I welcome your opinions or thoughts on this!

[providentielle]

I can see that this has been very difficult for you but there comes a point with all of us where we realise we cant have who we want and must do our best to move on. She was harsh and unfair with you but she has now told you what you need to be able to start the healing process.

[Idelion]

Yeah, you're pretty much right. Right now I'm just feeling better, of course, I still think about her, I do miss her, but when ever I think of her I also think on how it ended, on that high note. I'm so happy it ended like that, no bad moments, no bad anything! I still love her very much, because mine was real, hers well, apparently not. The hard days are here and stilll coming, I know that I have to be strong, but that's what I'm doing. Well, take care everybody!