Bf has a crush

[kris3790]

Hi all I would like to thank anyone in advance for any advice I can get!

 

I've been with my bf for over a year and there's no doubt that we love each other. My problem is that my bf has a crush he's been having before we met on this girl on social media. She has a fairly large following and she's what you would consider an Instagram model but the thing that makes me uncomfortable is that he saves pics of her on his phone. I wouldn't normally have a problem with my bf finding other women attractive but it's that he has a favorite. I could just be over analyzing things and it's making me jealous.

 

Thanks again for reading, any input helps!

[Bunney]

You can be sure that this is not so much a crush as it is finding her incredibly hot and using her pics as masturbation material.

 

I know some women can be OK with this, I know personally I wouldn't be a fan of it, as it seems to be a little more personal and quite obsessive. I suggest having a calm talk with him about how you are feeling about it and see how he reacts.

 

Would also be worth considering how the relationship is in general; does he treat you well overall, are there trust issues, etc.

[kris3790]

You can be sure that this is not so much a crush as it is finding her incredibly hot and using her pics as masturbation material.

 

I know some women can be OK with this, I know personally I wouldn't be a fan of it, as it seems to be a little more personal and quite obsessive. I suggest having a calm talk with him about how you are feeling about it and see how he reacts.

 

Would also be worth considering how the relationship is in general; does he treat you well overall, are there trust issues, etc.

Our relationship has had out fair share of ups and downs but as of right now we've been really good. There are trust issues because he has lied to me about having social media he tells me it's because he's scared of how I would react. I do admit that in the beginning I was jealous and childish but I've accepted having social media now. Another thing is my bf has a kink and he'll only save things relating to that kink at least that's what he tells me and I do believe him. I know he would never cheat on me I trust him that much.

[ginaloribic]

Hey Kris, I wouldn't read into it too much. A lot of people maybe have someone famous, on Instagram etc that they follow and think are attractive etc. Some will be more obsessive about it than others.

 

Try to think logically, is this person someone he is ever likely to have the chance of meeting, or chatting to? Maybe this girl is just purely a fantasy he likes to indulge, with no threat to your relationship. Also, you mention he has a kink that he saves pictures relating to. Bare in mind this kink is likely a very personal thing & the fact he has been open about this with you speaks volumes. Only you truly know him, but it sounds as though there may be no reason to doubt that.

 

Social media can be a funny thing too. Some people live their entire lives through it, others less so & some not at all. I go through periods of using it and becoming obsessed with facebook, then de-activate it for a while to detox when I feel it taking over. My recent ex would constantly have her mobile phone in her hand using social media, which used to drive me insane at times. It could just be this is something he likes to do, again with no real threat to your relationship.

 

I hope you find your way & resolve your issues.

[j.man]

What does "met her" mean? Simply adding a model doesn't make them buds or mean that he has any emotional investment or desire in her at all. For a lot of younger folks, following models on social media is just the technological adaptation of buying magazines to get your softcore fix. I mean have a problem with it if you want, dump him if it's that big a deal to you, but I don't think it's a winning battle to pick.

 

How do you know about these pictures on his phone, anyhow?

[kris3790]

Hey Kris, I wouldn't read into it too much. A lot of people maybe have someone famous, on Instagram etc that they follow and think are attractive etc. Some will be more obsessive about it than others.

 

Try to think logically, is this person someone he is ever likely to have the chance of meeting, or chatting to? Maybe this girl is just purely a fantasy he likes to indulge, with no threat to your relationship. Also, you mention he has a kink that he saves pictures relating to. Bare in mind this kink is likely a very personal thing & the fact he has been open about this with you speaks volumes. Only you truly know him, but it sounds as though there may be no reason to doubt that.

 

Social media can be a funny thing too. Some people live their entire lives through it, others less so & some not at all. I go through periods of using it and becoming obsessed with facebook, then de-activate it for a while to detox when I feel it taking over. My recent ex would constantly have her mobile phone in her hand using social media, which used to drive me insane at times. It could just be this is something he likes to do, again with no real threat to your relationship.

 

I hope you find your way & resolve your issues.

Yea I understand and hes really good to me other than that he is really understanding and I love him not just for that so I don't want to make a mistake by leaving him for something that may be nothing. This girl is from where we are from but he didn't know that until later well into him having a crush on her. He also tells me it's just physical and he would never love her or feel anything for her beyond that.

[kris3790]

What does "met her" mean? Simply adding a model doesn't make them buds or mean that he has any emotional investment or desire in her at all. For a lot of younger folks, following models on social media is just the technological adaptation of buying magazines to get your softcore fix. I mean have a problem with it if you want, dump him if it's that big a deal to you, but I don't think it's a winning battle to pick.

 

How do you know about these pictures on his phone, anyhow?

Sorry I phrased it wrong I meant that he's had a crush on her since before we met. I found these pics on his phone not by snooping I was sending myself pics that we took on his phone when I stumbled on it accidentally. He knew I was on his phone.

[indea08]

I'd say just let it go. I have a huge crush on Dylan Obrien ever since he became a bada$$ in Maze Runner lol. Doesn't mean that I love my husband any less. Actually, I love him more, because he just laughs at me and tells me I'm cute for dreaming. What an awesome guy, right? Just enjoy your relationship. You say you trust him without a doubt, so just accept him and love him!