Girlfriend left me for a girl, sending mixed signals

[lostboy14]

Hi, I never do anything like this but I'm feeling extremely lost and confused and want someone unbiased to weigh in on the situation.

 

So, basically I was with this girl for 3 years, we were both each others first real love and relationship, everything was going well, constantly telling each other we loved each other, can't wait til we get married and move in together and have kids etc etc. She had always said that before she settles down, at some point she wants to take time to do her own thing for a while, because she would hate to regret not doing that for the rest of her life (she was 18 & I was 19 when we got together).

 

A bit over a month ago, she came over and said she wants to have a break for 3 weeks to find a girl to experiment with. I was devastated but felt okay because I was confident that she would get it out of her system and come back and we would be stronger. After a week and a half, she called me and told me she had sex with a girl she found on tinder and that she felt something different and broke up with me. Enter extreme anxiety and depression stage.

 

Since then, she has told me over and over that she is terrified of not having me in her life, that she wants to be best friends and that after a bit of time we can see each other and be in each others lives. She would act all supportive of me, but my cousin would tell me that behind my back she would say that she doesn't care about me anymore and that i need to get over this and over her and move on.

 

Then on Friday just gone, she sent me a message saying how much she misses me and loves me and is so alone without me. That she has fun when she is with other girls, but when she gets home she feels terrible because they're not me. She said she is 100% confident that after a bit of time we will end up together and be stronger than ever, saying that she definitely doesn't see a future marrying a girl and that im the only one she wants to marry and have kids with and spend the rest of her life with. She just needed this time to do the stuff she has said shes always wanted to do but have just kept putting off.

 

She messaged me this morning because i finally built up the strength to follow her on Instagram again because i was really positive that we would have a future together. The conversation moved to her saying she was just upset when she said those things and that she shouldn't have messaged me. She has absolutely thrown me through a loop and said she didn't want to see me when i asked to catch up and talk about it, and that she needed space.

 

I dont know what to do anymore, Im so sick of feeling like this. I saw a psychologist on Thursday last week and he put me on antidepressants because im having constant anxiety attacks. I still love her and want to end up with her, so i was really happy when she said she felt the same, but is saying something completely different today. Im finding it really hard to not keep a big part of myself open to her changing her mind and coming back to me, but the uncertainty of that happening or not is tearing me apart. What should I do??

[pippy longstocking]

Mate you have to see this for what it is ......

 

If she was sleeping with men would you be so understanding ? NO ! .... This is no different because it is f-f

 

She has the cheek to actually keep you on hold as her best friend while she goes out shagging as many women as she wants , knowing you are sat there like a lemon waiting for her to sex herself out and be ready to fulfill her needs when it comes to marriage and babies . She has some opinion of herself she really does .

 

So now she is saying she didn't mean it ...and you are upset ? Be glad .....because she is treating you like you have no back bone , like some puppy dog sat there wide eyed and desperate for attention .

 

You cannot let women treat you like this ....you have to accept this is over , block her and don't allow yourself to be the man who sits there allowing life to pass on by while she uses you for friendship when she is lonely , she doesn't deserve your friendship ..she dumped you ...she can't have it all ways .....Princess syndrome

[lostboy14]

you're exactly right, princess syndrome could not put it better myself. Everything has always been about her and what she wants. I just don't want to have feelings for her anymore which is easier said than done. Ive spoken to/seen other girls since we've broken up, but it's hard to open myself up to the possibility of being serious with anyone but her. Time will heal I guess, I was just super invested and dependant.

[pippy longstocking]

you're exactly right, princess syndrome could not put it better myself. Everything has always been about her and what she wants. I just don't want to have feelings for her anymore which is easier said than done. Ive spoken to/seen other girls since we've broken up, but it's hard to open myself up to the possibility of being serious with anyone but her. Time will heal I guess, I was just super invested and dependant.

 

aww of course it is hard ..especially as you both grew together and shared so much ...and no one can ever take that away from you .

 

It is probably too soon to be with someone , you gave it a go and realised it just hurts too much right now , although it is no comfort , this is what every one of us goes through .

 

You will get over this I promise you , it hurts like hell , this is why it is called heartbreak ...you literally do feel like your heart is breaking .

 

It is a cliche I know , but this kind of life experience does make you a better and stronger person and there are not many in life who escape what you are going through right now .

 

You will get over this and you will enjoy life again , just hang on in there .

[lostboy14]

aww of course it is hard ..especially as you both grew together and shared so much ...and no one can ever take that away from you .

 

It is probably too soon to be with someone , you gave it a go and realised it just hurts too much right now , although it is no comfort , this is what every one of us goes through .

 

You will get over this I promise you , it hurts like hell , this is why it is called heartbreak ...you literally do feel like your heart is breaking .

 

It is a cliche I know , but this kind of life experience does make you a better and stronger person and there are not many in life who escape what you are going through right now .

 

You will get over this and you will enjoy life again , just hang on in there .

 

Thanks mate, it means a lot

[Wolfshook]

" She said she is 100% confident that after a bit of time we will end up together and be stronger than ever, saying that she definitely doesn't see a future marrying a girl and that im the only one she wants to marry and have kids with and spend the rest of her life with. She just needed this time to do the stuff she has said shes always wanted to do but have just kept putting off."

 

Do you really buy this much of bull*hit?

 

Run as fast as you can away from this. Or at least get a threesome out of this.

[Giblesp]

You need to have some more self respect, this woman is treating you like a doormat. This will continue until you stand up to her.

 

She declared a break because she wanted sex with other people, then she dumps you and then she needs you in her life, but on her rules not yours.

 

Play by your own rules and never accept this sort of treatment!

 

Tell her that she made her decision when she decided to have sex with someone else. She had you and now shes lost you completely. Then NC forever.