lostboy14 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Hi, I never do anything like this but I'm feeling extremely lost and confused and want someone unbiased to weigh in on the situation. So, basically I was with this girl for 3 years, we were both each others first real love and relationship, everything was going well, constantly telling each other we loved each other, can't wait til we get married and move in together and have kids etc etc. She had always said that before she settles down, at some point she wants to take time to do her own thing for a while, because she would hate to regret not doing that for the rest of her life (she was 18 & I was 19 when we got together). A bit over a month ago, she came over and said she wants to have a break for 3 weeks to find a girl to experiment with. I was devastated but felt okay because I was confident that she would get it out of her system and come back and we would be stronger. After a week and a half, she called me and told me she had sex with a girl she found on tinder and that she felt something different and broke up with me. Enter extreme anxiety and depression stage. Since then, she has told me over and over that she is terrified of not having me in her life, that she wants to be best friends and that after a bit of time we can see each other and be in each others lives. She would act all supportive of me, but my cousin would tell me that behind my back she would say that she doesn't care about me anymore and that i need to get over this and over her and move on. Then on Friday just gone, she sent me a message saying how much she misses me and loves me and is so alone without me. That she has fun when she is with other girls, but when she gets home she feels terrible because they're not me. She said she is 100% confident that after a bit of time we will end up together and be stronger than ever, saying that she definitely doesn't see a future marrying a girl and that im the only one she wants to marry and have kids with and spend the rest of her life with. She just needed this time to do the stuff she has said shes always wanted to do but have just kept putting off. She messaged me this morning because i finally built up the strength to follow her on Instagram again because i was really positive that we would have a future together. The conversation moved to her saying she was just upset when she said those things and that she shouldn't have messaged me. She has absolutely thrown me through a loop and said she didn't want to see me when i asked to catch up and talk about it, and that she needed space. I dont know what to do anymore, Im so sick of feeling like this. I saw a psychologist on Thursday last week and he put me on antidepressants because im having constant anxiety attacks. I still love her and want to end up with her, so i was really happy when she said she felt the same, but is saying something completely different today. Im finding it really hard to not keep a big part of myself open to her changing her mind and coming back to me, but the uncertainty of that happening or not is tearing me apart. What should I do?? Link to comment
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