why are all the good ones taken!!

[kungfumaster]

really!! i want to know why!! is it just bad karma? - bad luck? - is somebody trying to tell me something??

 

whenever i like someone - they're taken!! - it happened to me twice this year!! and the last one i just found out an hour ago through a friend. i feel so useless.

 

and, and! the ones that like me -- i don't like at all!!

 

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!! okay. time to take a pill.

[nexus532]

Finding romance is all about timing. maybe you should become friends with one of the girls that you like. this will provide a base for you to look into future intstresed that may follow. Meaning that as soon as the relationship ends which is a good possibility, you will be there to make you move. slow playing is the first step to finding the best possible girl, thats my model.

[kungfumaster]

isn't that kind of underhanded/sneaky kind of way to do things?? sure, i can be friends with her, but at the same time, i don't like that because i'm just fooling myself because i like her.

 

okay - i think my recent ex and a friend of hers did the same thing with me - she had this friend who she knew had a crush on her - he kept calling and crushing on her while we were bf/gf, and i think as soon as things went "hard" or not so good for us, she jumped straight to him - she told me near the end how much time she was spending with him - but i'm not sure if they ever hooked up. anyways, if that actually did happen, well - good riddance.

 

i have this philosophy. i don't pursue girls who have boyfriends. i think a relationship born out of making my move right after her relationship ends is a bad way to start it.

 

thanks for your response though nexus!

hiyah!

[RayKay]

i have this philosophy. i don't pursue girls who have boyfriends. i think a relationship born out of making my move right after her relationship ends is a bad way to start it.

 

 

And I agree with you completely. I have known guys who have gone with this approach on women/girls I know, and I too thought it was very underhanded, sneaky and in the end very dishonest. You could tell they were trying to sabotage things but act the friend - give the girl advice but also give them advice that would pull them in their direction.

 

Not a good friend in my opinion, and definitely not a positive way to start a relationship. I have seen them "rescue" broken hearts but then missing the whole healing process is not healthy either.

 

Kungfu - I know it feels like all the good ones are taken, the honest thing is sometimes they are.....but not ALL of them. There are some who are still with partners who don't realize what they have and they will be free again...just be patient and have faith. I know its tough, but the right one for YOU will come along.

[ShySoul]

kungfumaster,

 

You've got the right idea. Doing that would be sneaky. Making a move after she breaks up with someone would be taking advantage of her in an emotionally weak state. That's not any way to start a good relationship.

 

I know how horrible it is to have bad timing and find out someone you like has a boyfriend. Don't give up though. Someone is out there for you. Just focus on being friends with people first. Don't worry about making moves until your certain you like her and you know shes not in a relationship. Friendship first is the way to go. If something happens, it happens and will be right.

[kungfumaster]

thanks ray-kay and shy-soul!! you guys are ausome!! you guys are right. i just have to wait - i have faith that i will meet the one that's right for me one day. sometimes, i feel so stupid because i meet someone i like, and then invest alot of emotional energy thinking about them and then find out they have a boyfriend - it just kicks the legs right out from under me.

 

ray-kay - i'm happy that you have met someone. i hope it is going really well. you totally deserve it after what you've been through. your ex doens't know what he's losing. his loss!

 

shy-soul - you are quite wise for a 22 year old guy!! keep on being yourself!

 

thanks again guys!

hiyah!

[kungfumaster]

hah! to add insult to injury - i just found out this recent person i've been pursuing has been recently divorced! hah!

 

is there a sign on my back that says "recent divorcees only please"?? i've met two this year alone!! they are clearly not ready for a real relationship.

 

life is funny. you just have to laugh or else it gets the better of you.

[Caldus]

really!! i want to know why!! is it just bad karma? - bad luck? - is somebody trying to tell me something??

 

whenever i like someone - they're taken!! - it happened to me twice this year!! and the last one i just found out an hour ago through a friend. i feel so useless.

 

and, and! the ones that like me -- i don't like at all!!

 

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!! okay. time to take a pill.

 

Um ... because why in the world would anyone want the bad ones? Common sense.

 

And man how subjective those two words are: good and bad.

[kungfumaster]

ooooohhh, please forgive me for my subjective words Mr. Caldus...

 

I guess I am not sophisticated enough to use this forum.

[Caldus]

ooooohhh, please forgive me for my subjective words Mr. Caldus...

 

I guess I am not sophisticated enough to use this forum.

 

Guess not since you're treating dating like it's some kind of horrible nightmare rather than playing your cards right.

[buzzinjess]

Kung fu I was wondering, these two girls that u liked this year, what was it u liked about them, was it just a physical attraction? Its just that u said u can be friends with her but u dont like that cause you'd be fooling yourself cause u like her.

Im thinking if it was more than physical attraction u should let these girls into your life as friends for a few reasons. One that lifes way too short and u just dont meet enough "good" people to lose them over "wanting" then. Two that through these girls you'll network other "good" girls as genuine people tend to stick together. And three that sometimes a friendship with a girl can be more fullfilling than a relationship (all things physical aside) women are very loyal and loving to there friends.

Dont know if this makes sense. Good luck in your search

[kungfumaster]

Guess not since you're treating dating like it's some kind of horrible nightmare rather than playing your cards right.

 

I'm glad I'm not too sophisticated actually when it comes to dating. Good for you that you are sophisticated? I'm too old to play cards anymore...

 

Buzinjess: good point - yes, I do like these two ladies, and actually, I could have seen myself having a future with them (so its not just physical) - its just that they have gotten out of a marriage - the first one was actually still married, the second is has been divorced for 2 years - but still. I can see your point, and I do enjoy their company and friendship. They are, in fact, very good and admirable people. If I had daughters, I would want them to turn out exactly like these two women. Its just, I wish there was more, and I know they are not able to give me more because they are still trying to heal from their own broken marriages.

 

I've read many stories on "Healing after a Break up" board about people who met each other, and one or both is either freshly separated or divorced, and, in the end, it just doesn't work out - I don't know. It just screams to me that its not a good idea to get emotionally involved with "freshly broken up people".

 

Plus, I feel it too when dating these two ladies. Its like, have you ever climbed a very steep hill on your bike, and your almost to the top, but your legs are just too tired to push down on that peddle so you have to stop - I feel like this when "dating" or getting to know these two ladies. I feel the effort I put into the relationships trying to get to know them, and dealing with their "issues" is just too tiring, and I get nothing back (emotional or physical) in return.

 

I don't know. I think I'm just getting old, and tired of playing games and jumping through the "hoops" of dating. Its no longer exhilerating for me anymore. I just want to find a nice girl, who loves her family, loves me, and that's it. Just someone to settle down with a build a life together. I guess I'm asking for too much or too old and tired to try. Oh well