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Mentally abusive relationship..taking a tole on my life...


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I'm 19 years old and I'm female.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years and my life is beginning to fall apart because of his behavior and the relationship.


I met him back in 2015, near the end of my 11yh grade year. At the time, I wasn't really looking for a serious relationship and I guess something about him, made me want to date him and become his girlfriend.


Anyways, the first few months were just AMAZING! He would spoil me, I loved penguins, so he would buy me tons of stuffed penguins and anything penguin he could find.

He took me on dates, opened doors for me, and just was the perfect guy.


Usually abusive guys act like that to hide their true self, which I wasn't going to know that, only being 17. (He's 17 also.)



Well anyways, about 2 months into our relationship, he sneaks into my snapchat, like got in somehow and was reading all my snapchats.

He saw that I had sent a few nude photos to a few guys.

He was so mad and hurt that I hadn't told him about sending those. We were just barely dating and I wanted to wait to tell him that and honestly, it was before I even met him, so I didn't really ever have to tell him I did that.


Anyways, months go by and he starts to become a TOTALLY different person.

He starts to tell me to give him my location, i had to keep my read receipts on, on my imessage, I wasn't allowed to wear shorts, wear eyeshadow and eyeliner.

I wasn't allowed to curl my hair or do anything fancy with it.

I lost my best friend, lost connection with my sister, my whole family started to notice dramatic changed in my behavior, and my life was already being controlled, at only 17.


When we were out in public, If i would look around or just look up to see what direction I was going, just like any normal human, I was supposedly staring at every guy in the places we were at.

If I licked my lips or stuck my tongue out, I was being provocative and sexual.

If I looked ay myself in the mirror, he wiuld say that I'm obsessed with myself.

I couldn't like certain singers or songs.

When i went places, he had to know when I left, who I was witu, and where I was going.


If he texted me, i'd have to stare ar the text messages until he replied. If i didn't, I was chwating and talking to other people.


Okay anyways, so a year goes by and I leave him. I free myself from my life that basically wasn't my life anymore.

I was happier, I breathed better, I slept good at night, and I was jyst all around, me again.

I gained my friend back, and I did what I WANTED, without hearing him get after me or tell me I can't.

I was free and happy.



After 3 months, he some how finds his way back into my life. Me, beinf the dumb person that I am, accepted him back into my life.

He began controlling me again, we made this deal where we werent dating but still had to be loyal to eachother.


He accused me daily of breaking our dumb deal. Well guess who actually broke it?





He drove to my BEST FRIENDS house in the middle of the night! They had sex, he made out with her and slept over at her apartment.


Wanna know how I found out? Let me tell you. The next day, my friend posted a picture of herswlf in HIS SHIRT!

I knew that was his because he boght it at a bargain store and theres no possible way she would buy a guy's shirt!

I confronted her about it and she told me it was one of her guy friends.

I believed her, anyways, back to what happend with my boyfriwnd.


It took a whike but he finally confessed about going over there. But, he still lied.

He said he went over there just to talk to her about me and how to get me through be with him.

I knew it was all lies. He was lying.


I get the devious plan to pretend i'm my noyfriend and text her with a texting app.


I got the truth out and I was soooo beyond mad! But, even though she did it, I was the bad person! Sje told me to kill myself and that she was better and prettier and let me tell you, shes ugly, trust me!



But anyways, i was super torn up after that, I felt insecure as hell, betrayed, played, and lied to. Both my bestfriwnd and my boyfriend betrayed me in the WORST way possible.

After that, it was hard getting on my feet again, it was hard to love myself, it was hard to look at myself and not feel digscusted.


I starved myself, I stopped eating, i ate like one thing a day and lost 17 pounds in 4 months after that.

He still accused me and didjt trust me. He still put me through bull crap and still made my life a living nightmare.

I'm still traumatized and I don't know how to love myself again. Was he abusive? You tell me

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Of course he is, and you know this. Why are you still with this guy??? I hope you ended your relationship with your 'best friend?'


Please seek immediate counseling through school, and, do not ever allow anyone to dictate/control your life. Ever!!! Get to the root of your problems and use you family for support.


This is a very abusive situation. He is a controlling, manipulative, cheating, lying bully!

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He wasn't just abusive but a sick person. You don't deserve a person like that. He is all about himself and being selfish. Your friend is sick too for sleeping with him.


Reinvent yourself and study. Be loyal to books and education. With a better career. It will open up a better selection of men to date.


Hopefully you get to visit Antarctica and see Penguins in person..


Good luck.

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Trust was broken. He broke your trust going I your Snapchat. What he saw is burned in his brain.


When I was in college, I snooped and found out my ex cheated on me with some dude in her dorm hall. Even though she called it off and hope I didn't find out, I became insecure and was paranoid with every guy around her. I was young and tried to be mature about it, but in retrospect, we dragged out a painful relationship for the next couple years.


I think a genuine clean breakup and space apart for you to grow apart as individuals may be best. That's what worked for me.

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